I Just Don't Get It: Dickriders

In this 'NO HOMO' and 'PAUSE' era we find ourselves in these days, the male groupie, also known as the dickrider, totally baffles me. I just don't understand how these guys that would slap the shit outta someone for calling them homosexual can openly, albeit metaphorically, suck the next guy's dick.

For those of you unclear on just what a dickrider is, let me clarify. A dickrider is a guy that is constantly talking about hte next dude in a way that shows a little too much admiration. Rather than coming across as just another fan, they come off looking like they're trying to hook up with the guy. Usually, the guy the dickrider is always talking about is a celebrity of some kind. In our discussion, we're talking about guys that ride a rapper's dick so hard you'd think they were sharing a body. A woman that behaves this way is usually known as a 'groupie'.

Twitter has given the dickrider a whole new platform. Now, they use their timelines to shamelessly promote the artist that they're riding. Now, let me be very clear before I get serious shade thrown my way. I'm not against supporting artists and encouraging people to open their minds, ears and wallets to an artist. I'm talking abouth the type of person that has nothing else to talk about but the artist they love. When every single tweet you send is about this artist, a dude that stands up to pee just like you, it's a little suspect to me. I know that artists have street teams and promotion teams that pay people to endorse and advertise their albums. BUT, if you're just giving this dude publicity for free, what does that say about you? I also know that sometimes, this happens when local artists have their friends doing promo for them. I'm all about supporting local artists that 'make it big' so to speak, but when I can't tell if I'm talking to them or to you, there's a problem. I mean, what makes this guy so special that you'd be willing to come across as looking like you're in the closet? I seriously wanna know what the fuck could be so special about an artist to make them the center of a heterosexual man's universe?

If the only thing that you have to talk about is the next dude, how is anyone gonna get to know YOU?! You're just gonna be considered another dickrider; someone that wants 'the life' so badly you try to live through the next dude. Rather than promotiong someone that doesn't give a shit about you, try promoting YOURSELF!! I can Google an artist and get their whole life story. Clearly, if I'm talking to you, you're the one I'm interested in talking to and about.

It's really quite pathetic if you want my honest opinion. And, if you're doing all this promo for free, that's even worse. Look at it this way: Hookers, they ride dick too, but at least they're getting paid for it. You're out here giving it up for free. What's missing from your life that you have to make a celeb the center of it? They're not doing shit but laughing at you at the end of the day. Sure, they'll tweet and say in interviews that they 'love the fan support', but how many times do you see them actually talking to us 'regular folks'?

I'm a fan of tons of artists, both unsigned and labeled up, but I can't see myself making any of them the center of my conversations and life. I don't spend my day discussing them and if someone else doesn't like them, I don't jump down their throat like they just dissed my momma. That shit is sick, dude, like for real. Either you have serious self-esteem or sexuality issues, or maybe both who knows. Or, maybe you just never got off your ass and did something with yourself so you're suckin' the next dude off in hopes of making a name for yourself. Unfortunatly, the only name you're making for yourself is DICKRIDER.

Whatever the reason is, the shit has to stop! If you're the type of dude I just talked about, I'm sincerely sorry that your life is so empty you have to fill it by riding the next dude's dick. Seriously, get a life of your own. These celebs you're making famous aren't doing anything to better your life.

I know I'm not hte only person who's noticed this shit, am I? Drop me a comment and let me know what you think.

Besitos,

Toni