#LifeLesson: Every Cloud Has A Sliver Lining

Hello my loves!

I'm not quite sure where to start today. There's so much info to share and such a story that it's all kinda bleeding together, so please bear with me as I'm clearly losing my mind lol.

Okay so, y'all remember my post from yesterday, right? The one that said CSE had found my son's deadbeat ass dad. Well, as they say, the plot thickens. That shit is so thick you need a knife to cut through it. I got some information today that had me in such a rage that I could barely breathe. I'm still highly pissed off, but I'm using my head now instead of working off emotion alone.

I found out some information about my son's dad this morning that I NEVER would've expected. Not only is he married now, but he has a 7 month old daughter and owns a tattoo shop in the city where his family is from in Alabama. Now, here's a little twist: He and I aren't technically divorced. We've lived apart for the past 7 years, but since I couldn't afford a divorce and he clearly wasn't gonna pay for it, it never got done. So, not only is he a deadbeat dad, he's a polygamist as well. To say that I almost passed out when I heard is a gross understatement. I literally almost screamed on the train after I read the message. The shock I experienced was palpable. I was so angry that I didn't even feel cold while I walked to my office from the train. THAT'S how pissed off I was.

I don't care that he has a new wife. In fact, I pity her because she clearly doesn't really know Ryan like she thinks she does. I'd bet money she has no idea that Ryan's already married and has an 8 year old son. Initially, I was gonna send her a nice little message, but I know it would do more harm than good. Y'all already know I don't really give too much of a damn about people's feelings, so that's not why I didn't expose that polygamist husband of hers. I said nothing to her because that will give him a chance to try and run to avoid what's about to go down, and I'm not gonna give him that chance. I'm gonna win this battle trust and believe it.

Turns out that he and the new wife have been together for 4 years and just got married in October. They co-own the tattoo shop (Deep South Tattoos in Cullman, Alabama) and all that shit. Well, I hope they've enjoyed it because that joint is about to be called Toni's Tattoos. I"m turning him in to the feds for being a polygamist. Not because I want him back (excuse me while I puke at the mere thought), but because I want him to suffer. I want his whole life to crash down before his very eyes. I want him to know what it's like to be backed into a fucking corner and have to pick up the pieces to his shattered epic fail of a life.

I looked at pics of his daughter, and she's really cute. She looks a lot like D did as a little one. That almost makes it worse, you know? I hate that he's been able to hide his past from his wife like that. I don't care about him, or her too much to be honest. I feel bad for his daughter and for D. They don't even know one another. D's always telling me he wants a sibling, and to know he has one that he may never get to meet pisses me off to no end.

Like I've said, I plan to go out there, but I'm not gonna kill him or anything. I just wanna see the look on his face when I walk into the tattoo shop, you know? I wanna see the look of fear and surprise in his eyes. I wanna hear him start to stutter when his wife asks him what's wrong and if he knows me or some shit. He's a great actor, but not THAT good. He should've remembered that fucking with me the wrong way is bad for your health. I hope when he gets locked up they ass rape him until he can't even sit. I hope they make him the bitch that I already know he is. I'm always turnt up, y'all know that, but I'm on a whole new level right now.

Well, let me get back to work. Please feel free to comment on here or on my Facebook or Twitter. Oh, and if you wanna take the trip with me to Alabama, just let me know.

Con Amor,
Toni

#LifeLessons: Being the Bigger Person Sucks Like A Whore Sometimes

Hello, my loves!

I know it's been a crazy long time, so let's skip the backtracking and get right into it. So, I fond out today that Child Support Enforcement thinks that they've found Ryan, Dominic's raggedy ass father that hasn't seen or talked to his son since D was 13 months old. Initially, of course, I was happy to hear the news. However, as time has passed, I'm beginning to have all sorts of mixed emotions, anger being the most prevelent. That leads us to the title of this blog. Everyone keeps telling me to calm down, take it easy, and not totally lose my shit on this dude. While I appreciate where it's coming from, I don't wanna hear that shit right now. All I care about at this very moment is that, while I've sturggled to make a life for me & D, this raggedy motherfucker has been in Alabama and Florida living it up.

Ryan doesn't even claim his son. He told this bitch that D's name that's tatted on his arm was a soldier he fought with that died in Afghanistan. See the shit I'm talking about? This asshat doesn't even claim Dominic, much less acknowledge his existence. MEanwhile, Dominic asked me once 'Mommy, is my Daddy dead or alive?' 'He's alive, baby.' 'Why doesn't he call or visit me?' 'I don't know, baby.' This is the shit I deal with while Mr. I'm a Cocksucker is out living the life.

I know it's not good to wish death or anything on another person, but I truly hate him. I've never actually hated someone before, much less this strongly and passionately. I'm a Leo, so you already know I'm always fired up. I put up with a lot of shit from him while we were together. I almost lost my son because Ryan cheated on me and gave me an STD that sent me into premature labor. Luckily, it was cureable, but still. My child could have DIED, you dig?

So, when y'all tell me to be easy or be the bigger person, excuse me if it's not something I wanna hear. I don't give a good got damn about too much of shit in this life other than my son and my family. I know that it's coming from the love you have for me & D, and I truly appreciate that love. But seriously, sometimes I'm not ranting on Twitter and Facebook looking for advice or to be calmed down. Sometimes, I'm just kirking off and venting so that I can go out into the world without shooting folks from a rooftop some damn where.

Yes, I know murder is a capital offense and brings life in prison. If I didn't know that, I woulda been tried to find that cock sucker and ended his epic fail of a life. If my son's well-being wasn't my #1 concern, I'd already be serving a sentence, so don't come at me telling me how to feel or how to react. If I say I wanna kick his ass, then that's how I feel. If you can't deal with me and my aggression, leave me the fuck alone. I have no time or patience for being told how to live my life and behave. Yeah, I know I'm better than this ans that and all that shit, but let me sink low for a minute shit. Let me, just this once, kirk off without having to hear a fucking lecture. My own mama doesn't even tell me no shit like that, so why would I take it from y'all?!

I don't want this to sound like I don't love you guys,because that's totally not the case. I love all of you, and put on my gangsta grill for y'all whenver you need me to, so why can't I get the same? Why is it that when I say I'm gonna hurt someone, I get the 'Calm down, Toni' bullshit until y'all need me to get gutter for y'all. Then it's cool that I'll fight a bitch, or a dude cuz y'all know I fight guys too, when it's for you. I can't deal with that shit.

At the end of the day, I just want to be treated like I treat others. I'm not saying I wanna fuck YOU up, so what's the big fucking deal?! I'mt tired of always being the adult, the bigger person and shit. It's already common knowledge that I'm not a nice girl, so why do people come at me and expect me to behave like I am. I'm not one for faking and shit. This is me, y'all. All the craziness and shit, that's me too, so you have two choices. You can either just let me fucking be unless I ask for you to do otherwise, or get the fuck outta my life.

Always,

Toni

#PrincessApproved: Mac Marz - 'Wolf Among Sheep'

A while back, my #CompoundMusic homie Mac Marz released his mixtape 'Wolf Among Sheep'. To say this something you need in your life would be a gross understatement. 'Get Em' is definitely one of my favorite tracks off the mixtape.

Now, y'all know I don't endorse too many people, so for me to endorse Mac you know I truly am feeling it. You can download it here: http://themacmarz.bandcamp.com/album/wolf-among-sheep

Nominate #TeamIBGC for Promo Team of the Year!

Head over to http://thefablife.com/ and vote Team IBGC as DC's Promotional Team of the Year!

VOTE HERE: http://thefabempire.com/the-fab-awards/.

#IBGCEvent: Hip-Hop 4 Tots

The International Bad Girls Club & Radio On-Air Host EZ Street Team up For ‘Hip Hop 4 Tots’ Artist Showcase &Toy Drive

Live Performances by DMV Super Stars!






Washington, DC. (December 6, 2010) – On December 23rd The International Bad Girls Club (The IBGC) and Radio Host EZ Street host “Hip Hop 4 Tots” Artist Showcase and holiday toy drive at Pure Lounge. Hip Hop 4 Tots is in conjunction with EZ Street’s nonprofit Creative Solutions 4 Youth Inc.


The toys donated at event benefit the Family Ties Project a program providing services to families affected by HIV/AIDS by helping parents and caregivers plan for the future care of their children.


“We are so happy to lend our high-quality event image enhancement and promotional skills to support this wonderful event and showcasing of very talented DMV hip-hop artists” says Jennifer Hampton a UDC Law student & IBGC member who worked with the Family Ties Project.






Performing at this must attend event/toy drive are DMV super stars: Lola Monroe, Phil Ade, One way Boobe, Judah on the Beat, Bear Witnez, Dagga, Mista 40, Nu the Mayor, Whitefolkz and more! Guests attending this event receive FREE admission when they bring an unwrapped toy or book. Doors open at 7:30 pm. Pure Lounge is located at 1326 U Street, NW.






“While HIV/AIDS infects individuals it affects entire families and communities, your generous gifts to The Family Ties Project will bring joy and happiness to children and youth and lighten the burden for these affected families during the holiday season!” says Sally Altland, Project Director for the Family Ties Project.






Media inquiries regarding this event should be directed to Shar’ron Antoinette (Pretty Gyrl PR), Chief Branding Officer for The IBGC at sharron.walker@gmail.com /202.390.9303.

The IBGC Presents A Night of 1000 Stars

The International Bad Girls Club Presents a Night of a Thousand Stars - A Fashion and Music Extravaganza



(Washington, DC) – On August 28, 2010 from 5-7 p.m., The International Bad Girls Club presents a Night of a Thousand Stars - A fashion and music extravaganza spotlighting stars of DC, Maryland and Virginia sponsored by Hennesy Black and Mercedes Benz. Taking place at The U.S. Navy Memorial,this event will be a fashion show with live entertainment from some of the areas hottest talent. Event hosts inculde 2 Face Ya Wild Boy and The Funk Regulator DJ Celo. Slated performers include Rated R, Judah, Likeblood, Whitefolkz and, Jay Mills. More artists will be announced. All clothing worn by models will be representative of local designers.The IBGC is dedicated to giving back to the community and non-profit organizations, therefore a portion of the proceeds from this event will be donated to Autism Speaks, a charity for Autistic children.


The cost for advanced general admission tickets is $20 and $30 for VIP seating. General admission tickets will be available for purchase the day of the event. Tickets will be available for purchase from any IBGC member or by emailing internationalbadgirls@gmail.com.



The U.S. Navy Memorial is located off the Archives/Navy Memorial stop on Metro’s green line, 701 Pennsylvania Ave., N.W., Washington, DC 20004.



About Autism Speaks


We are dedicated to funding global biomedical research into the causes, prevention, treatments and cure for autism, to raising public awareness about autism and its effects on individuals, families, and society; and to bringing hope to all who deal with the hardships of this disorder. We are committed to raising the funds necessary to support these goals. Autism Speaks aims to bring the autism community together as one strong voice to urge the government and private sector to listen to our concerns and take action to address this urgent global health crisis. It is our firm belief that, working together, we will find the missing pieces of the puzzle. Autism speaks. It's time to listen. Learn more at http://www.autismspeaks.org/.



About IBGC


The International Bad Girls Club (IBGC) is a diverse group of women with chapters across the country who are dedicated to fostering sisterhood, encouraging personal development, and contributing to their community while being the life of the party. They perform event image enhancement, host upscale club event and VIP parties as well as community service affairs; all with professionalism and sophistication. Learn more at http://theibgc.blogspot.com and follow them on Twitter www.Twitter.com/TheIBGC

###



Press Contact


Candice Coleman


Think Brown INK


240-229-1075


events@thinkbrownink.com

Remembering Michael Jackson: One Year Later

One year ago today, we lost the biggest icon in musical history. He was bigger than Elvis. Bigger than Jay-Z. Bigger than his own image. Michael Jackson, whether you agree with how he chose to live his life or fed into the crazy rumors, was no doubt a musical genius. The impact he made on music and fashion is timeless. His style will never be mirrored successfully, no matter how hard these newbies try. His influence can be felt and heard on so many tracks out today it isn't funny.



Michael Jackson was the first entertainer I developed a crush on. I remember being a child looking at the Thriller picture album my father had (that I inherited in his passing) thinking, 'Wow he's gorgeous!' Micheal had such an endearing quality about him that came across in every photograph. 'Thriller' was the first music video I ever saw, and it changed me forever. Michael made MOVIES, not just music videos. From 'Billie Jean' to 'Beat It', the videos from the Thriller album made me fall even deeper 'in love' with Michael.

When he was burned shooting that Pepsi commercial, you should have seen the chaos in my house. My mother & I were glued to the television, praying like he was a member of our family for his safety and well-being. That's how it was with Michael. Every person felt like they knew him personally. He gave out so much love in his music that it was hard to resist him. When he waved to the cameras as he was being out into the ambulance, I cried tears of relief to see that he wasn't too badly hurt. That's the impact he made on me even then, and I didn't know half as much about music as I do know.



My favorite MJ album is probably Dangerous because that's when I was growing into a woman and could really relate to the music. I will say, however, that Bad was a DOPE ass album too!! 'Liberian Girl' still makes me cry to this day! When MJ sang a love song, you could feel every beat of his heart in each lyric and transition. But 'Remember the Time' from the Dangerous album may be one of my all-time favorite MJ videos EVER! The fact he had icons such as Iman in it alone made it dope, but the way he turned into gold dust had my ass SWOONING! And that dance sequence at the end?! It just doesn't get much better than that for me. The whole album was full of hotness. To this day, it stands out as my fave MJ album.




I could go on and on about his many accomplishments, but that would take all day. Since my father passed earlier this year, it's given me some peace of mind to imagine him in Heaven playing the drums (which he did his whole life) in the band with greats like Michael, James Brown (my dad's musical hero), and all of the greats we've lost recently. I picture the two of them laughing and hanging out together, jamming out as my dad used to say lol. When I heard that Michael passed, I was in a state of shock. At the time, I was blogging heavy for EZ Street and he called to tell me to watch the news because they had taken MJ to the hospital. When I saw the reports, it took all I had not to totally collapse. When Jermaine announced to the world that MJ had, in fact, left us, I sobbed. I cried like I had lost a member of my family. I cried like I did at my father's funeral. I felt like, the one constant musically in my life had left, leaving me raw and devastated. Luckily, I had blogging to help me pour my emotions into. I couldn't even call my mother when I heard the news because I knew she'd be a wreck. See, she literally grew up watching MJ grow from a boy to a man, so she felt a kind of attachment to him that I just couldn't understand.

My son, Dominic, has taken the helm as the resident MJ expert in my family. He portrayed MJ in his school play, and knows all of his songs. He tries to moonwalk. If he sees someone doing an MJ move wrong, he gets in his feelings and jumps to correct them. It gives me life seeing him love MJ as much as I did at his age. He understands the legacy MJ left behind and wants to keep it going. We don't discuss the negative about MJ, because he hears that enough on tv. At the end of the day, it's all about the love. The love MJ gave us for music. The love we have for him.

Michael, we miss you. Music will never be the same without you. No one will ever be able to make us feel the way you did when you took the stage. There will never be another as great as you, no matter how hard they try. We will watch your children grow and wonder if any or all will follow in your footsteps and take to the stage. We will watch your brothers and sisters continue to live and wonder how they make it though when so many of us are still so devastated. We will keep your legacy alive by teaching our children, nieces, nephews about who you were as a humanitarian and musician. We will tell them that, no matter what the world says, that you were great. We will continue to crank your songs all the way up and attempt to moonwalk. We'll live life 'Off the Wall' and promise not to stop til we get enough. We'll 'Remember the Time' when we fell in love and tell 'Dirty Diana' and 'Billie Jean' to 'Beat It' if they disrespect your name. We 'Just Can't Stop Loving You', MJ.

Con todo mi corazon,
Toni

VH1 Hip-Hop Honors: The Dirty South

Last night, VH1 aired their Hip-Hop honors: The Dirty South show and to say I was disappointed would be a gross understatement. While I believe and know VH1 had good intentions going into the show, I think they executed it poorly.

Okay so, the fact that Outkast wasn't honored pissed me off in a major way. I honestly didn't watch the first hour of the program because I was so in my feelings about Andre & Big Boi not getting the honor they so rightfully deserve. I mean, how are you gonna honor Southern Hip-Hop and NOT give Outkast a mention or award or whatever they received on the show last night? Like seriously, VH1, that's just ridiculous. I am aware that many artists declined being honored/performing on the show for whatever reason, but to not give Outkast their due respect is just ignorant. Outkast is one of the main groups people all over the world use to identify the South, so to not honor them is just disrespectful. Then, to add insult to injury, they had Nelly (who hasn't put out a decent album in who knows how long and isn't even from the South) performing an Outkast song during the Organized Noise set. Really?! Are you serious?! I almost punched my tv watching that foolishness.

Then, VH1 had Asher Roth (y'all remember him; the saltine rapper whose album flopped and allegedly made racist comments) performing a Ludacris song. That shit right there infuriated me. I mean, they couldn't call Luda and ask him to perform his own damn song?! Then, Asher didn't even do it justice! They should've had Eminem do it if they were gonna throw some saltines in the soup. At least Em is a credible artist. That Asher Roth is a hot damn mess. To have him doing a Luda song totally shit on the South in my humble opinion. I mean, I read tweets and some folks didn't even know who the hell Asher IS!! C'mon, VH1, I need y'all to get your whole life together STAT.

Okay let me say something positive before I continue this roast. The No Limit set was probably my favorite on the show. Mystikal, who just got outta jail not too long ago, came out on stage and KILLED it!! He made Gucci (who was there in his LisaRaye gear-all White everything, including his ashy lips) and all the young bucks that were at the show look dumb as shit. He made my entire day I promise you. Silkk the Shocker even came through and did a lil something. I woulda loved to see Mia X on stage too, but I"m happy with who No Limit had. Even Master P got his old ass up and did a lil something lol.

Another set I liked, but was a little confused about, was the Timbaland honors set. Okay, I know VA is technically the South, and he IS one of the dopest producers in the game. That goes without saying or argument. I guess I just didn't understand why, rather than having folks perform Timbaland rap tracks (I mean, he has put out his own albums, VH1), they had people performing tracks that Timbaland had produced. I'm not saying that that was a bad thing at all, just a little off to me *shrug*. Missy came out in her staple Adidas track suit (leather too lol) and did her damn thing. I was siced (happy for you non-DMV readers) to see her, although her half hawk was a little much for me.

Okay, back to a little negative. Why the HELL was Diddy there at a show honoring the South?! His attention whore ass always has to be on some shit. And him performing with JD and Bow Wow was just too much for me to deal with. When Diddy showed his grill, I about died from disbelief. Really, Diddy, I need you to sit down somewhere already. I'm so over him I don't know what to do with myself. Of course, I respect his hustle and his grind. He's one of the few folks in the industry that has maintained longevity, however he did it. We all have our theories on that one, but I'll save that for another blog.

They honored 2 Live Crew last night, which made sense to me because they did pave the way for rappers to curse on records and fight for their 1st Amendment rights. I respect that to the fullest. However, they looked like they had just snuck out of the retirement home when they were performing. Then, Luke's whole speech at the end of their performance was a little strange to me.

Now, my biggest beef with this whole show isn't who performed as much as who was left out. Where the hell were 8Ball & MJG? Where was T.I.?! He kinda introduced the Atlanta set, but he should've been on that stage performing since he is the King of the South. DUH VH1! And why wasn't Goodie Mob honored? Or Triple 6 Mafia? Or Young Buck? Or anyone else from Tennessee for that matter! What about Tha YoungBloodZ? I'm fully aware that it would've taken all night to honor EVERYONE that's deserving, but damn VH1. Y'all couldn't have picked the best?! Of course, since VH1 is mainstream, they're gonna highlight more mainstream people, which I get, but Luda isn't mainstream enough for them? Triple 6 isn't either? The list goes on and on.

Like I said earlier in this post, I know that some artists like Young Money declined to be on the show for one reason or another. Mac Mane of YM tweeted that they didn't go because they felt it wouldn't be the same without Wayne there. Ummmmm, okay. Didn't T.I.'s camp still perform and accept his award at the BET Awards when T.I. first went away? I'm not trying to throw shade, but c'mon y'all. Others declined because they didn't feel right about the show as a whole, that the timing wasn't right. That speaks volumes to me about the whole thing.

At the end of the day, the thought behind the show was awesome. Honoring the South as a major Hip-Hop hub in this country was definitely a good look. However, I feel that the show didn't do justice to Southern Hip-Hop artists and the culture. They had this one dude doing a voice over and he said 'Peachtree City is Atlanta Hip-Hop.' Seriously?! Now, I lived in Atlanta for a long time, and I NEVER heard of any rappers coming outta Peachtree City. I know a lot of ATL rappers live in Buckhead and the suburbs now that they're rich, but I doubt they started out living there. Matter of fact, I KNOW T.I. didn't, but whatever.

Then I got mad at myself for expecting more from the network that brought us Flavor of Love, I Love New York, Basketball Wives, etc. etc. I shoulda known better than to trust them to respect Hip-Hop the way it deserves to be. These bamas at VH1 are distributing coonery at an alarming rate. Do y'all realize that almost all of the reality shows with Black folks are on VH1? This summer alone, T.O. AND Ocho Cinco are gonna have shows on there, and Basketball Wives got picked up for another season. I'm not even gonna touch the Brandy (whose wig last night was a monstrosity btw) and Ray J show.

As I've said repeatedly throughout this post, I feel VH1 had good intentions, but they didn't execute the show well at all. Between the unfunny host to the whack jokes at the end, I just can't with the whole thing. VH1 could've done a much better job of selecting the honorees. Maybe they'll see the abundant Twitter rants from various people and do another one to honor more of the South's greats. Outkast, Goodie Mob, Triple 6, Scarface, Luda, T.I., and the rest of the South's greats that didn't get honored, don't worry. The fans know what it really is.

So what did y'all think of the show last night?

Besos,
Toni

Excuse Me Sir, Your Vag is Showing

I just cannot understand what is happening to guys these days. In such a 'pause' and 'no homo' driven society, the fact that so many of these dudes are in need of Manpons and Midol astounds me. There is a great difference between a man that is in tune with his feminine side and a guy that's acting like a straight chick. And by 'acting like a straight chick', I don't mean homosexual men that dress up & live as women. At least they're open with their chickness. I'm talking about these straight 'I'm the hardest dude on the block' guys that, if you ask me, are all in need of some serious hormone therapy.

Now, fellas, I'm sure you're thinking to yourself (or saying aloud, whatever moves you), 'Hol' up, T! Yall chicks complain when we aren't sensitive enough, now you're saying we're TOO sensitive?!' Um, yes, fellas, that's what I'm saying. Not ALL of you, before I get hit with these crazy messages. However, the number of Vaggy guys is starting to grow at an enormous rate, so I had to bring attention to this epidemic. There is such thing as being TOO sensitive, guys. Sure, we women want you to understand us and not treat us like youhave no clue how we feel, but when you take that to the next level, it's definitely no bueno.

Perfect example: Dating a dude that makes a woman feel like she's the one that has the testosterone. This is just crazy to me. I've been in this position before and it sucks. If every time I say something to you that you don't wanna hear (which, be notified, is a great occurrence when dealing with me) you break down into tears, that's not gonna work for me. C'mon, dude, seriously?  coming at me with that 'you don't really love me' crap every time I say I do will not only get a Midol slipped into your drink, but a tampon placed in your pants pocket. Feeling emotions isn't the problem here, guys, so please don't take it to the extreme. It's about balance. Sure, I want you to be sensitive to my needs, but I don't want you crying all the damn time.

Another thing you dudes do that screams vaginal is gossip. Now, I don't give a good hot damn what any of you dudes say. Y'all gossip and whatnot just as much, if not more, than we women do. At least us girls own it and don't try to do it under the guise of just trying to converse with a chick to get with her. I've witnessed guys sitting around together, much like us women do, talking about another dude like he's the worst person in the world, but when they see him it's all good. Now, if that ain't some female stuff, I don't know what it. If you're gonna talk shit about us women running our mouths all the time, do me a favor and check yourself prior.

The place to find the biggest congregation of vaggy dudes is on Twitter. I swear, I never knew how girly rappers, thugs, and every kinda guy in between could be softer than Charmin triple ply. I understand we live in a hyper sensitive society these days, but Twitter must be where the vaggy boys go to meet and learn the tricks of the trade. These dudes read a tweet, sometimes not even directed towards them, and totally get in their feelings like you just told them you heard they have a little pecker or something. Fellas, this has GOT TO STOP! Unless a woman tells you directly you're a pussy or have a little pecker or whatever else we women may say about men, please don't feel the need to get in your feelings. It's fucking ridiculous and it makes your huge vag show even more.

And fellas, please, for the love of God, be mindful of how you use text acronyms like 'LOL', 'LLS', and the infamous smiley face. While it's cool to use one here and there occassionally, if every text I get form you has 'lls' or something similar in it, not only will I talk about you to my friends, I will suddenly disappear from your life. I can't with that shit right there. Of all teh vaggy things you guys do, that may be in my top 3. Fellas, just cuz Trey & Soulja Boy did a song about it, that doesn't make using or saying 'LOL :)' a socially acceptable text or tweet. Furthermore, if anything Soulja says is key in your thinking, you need more help than I am able to give.

I could go on forever about this, as I'm sure y'all already know, but I'm gonna leave it alone. Just know, fellas, just like you're watching our every word and comment, we women are doing the same to you. Just like you get in your little circles and talk about us, we're doing the same about you. If you're calling yourself a man, please act like one. I'm not saying you have to be a heartless prick to qualify as a 'real man' by any means, so please don't twist it that way. All I'm saying is, keep your female tendencies in check because, if a woman has to call you out on it, it won't be pretty.


Con Amor,
Toni

I Just Don't Get It: The SATC Crazies

This shit is just ridiculous smh.

'GET A FUCKING LIFE!!!!' These are the words I wanna scream from the rooftops every time I read a tweet or hear ladies going on and on and freaking on about Sex and The City 2. As if the first movie wasn't enough of a ball of fuckery, they've decided to beat a dead horse and make a second film. My thing is, when you cross the line and make something that is just supposed to entertain you (and I use the term 'entertain' loosely) into your mantra and life-guide, there's a serious problem there.

These SATC Crazies remind me of Trekkies. Remember how we all used to make fun of them for adopting the Star Trek way of life into their own? This is the exact same thing, but instead of sporting a set of Spok ears, these mindless drones are drinking Cosmos and wearing designer clothes (or knock-offs for the SATC Crazy on a budget). How is it cooler to be a SATC Crazy than a Trekkie? Both are obsessed with fictional characters and are slightly out of touch with reality, so they're pretty equal in my eyes.

Now, I openly admit that I saw the first SATC movie, mostly because I was once a fan of the show (before the shallowness and other various bullshit got to be too much). However, I found the first movie pretty much a waste of time. I'm glad I caught it on cable and didn't pay $10 to sit in a cold theater with the Crazies, because I would've been PISSED! The latest installment of SATC prommises to be full of the same foolishness as the first, but instead of being set in NYC, they'll be overseas in the Middle East.

As you see in the pic posted above, these bitches are gonna be in the desert in Manolos and crazy expensive and elaborate clothes. Seriously?! First off, it's about a zillion and one degrees in the desert, so I doubt ANYONE is out there trying to be that cute. Sure, you wanna look nice wherever you are, but fuck that shit. If I'm going to the desert, I'm not gonna be waring some hot ass leggings. Those things cook your cooch like a roast in the oven. And I DAMN sure am not wearing a dress if I'm gonna be riding a funky ass camel. Like seriously, even the weathliest folks I've seen in pictures and whatnot are wearing simple, understated stuff in the desert. I mean, it's the fucking DESERT!! No one is paying that much attention. Hell, there aren't even any other folks out there, just camels, scorpians, and God knows what other creatures.

Point is, get your life together, ladies. Why would you want to model yourself after a group of women that have no depth to them? Carrie, although I'd kill for her shoe collection, is no one I wanna be. Sure, she's a successful writer like I aspire to be, but the rest of her is as messy as an episode of Maury. Plus, she's not even that cute! I get so tired of hearing about her and seeing these dumb chicks going into debt to be like here it makes me crazy. YOU ARE NOT CARRIE, CHARLOTTE, SAMANTHA, OR MIRANDA!!!! LET IT GO ALREADY!!!!

Oh, and while I'm at it, let me address something I have to put a stop to immediately. Heterosexual males, there is no reason whatsoever for you to be quoting ANYTHING from SATC. If you went to see it, whatever. But for you to be on Twitter quoting the film like a woman does, you're gonna set off someone's gaydar. I just can't with any of that, especially when it's the guys that swear they're the hardest, most masculine men out there. Dude, your pussy's showing, so pull your skirt down.

I'm sure I'm going to get massive unfollows and ugly tweets over this blog post, but I'm not worried. Someone had to stand up for the non-SATC Crazies. I just have an issue with anything that deludes women and gives them false hopes and goals to reach, but maybe that's just me.

What's your beef with SATC, if any?

Con Amor,
Toni

Some Morning Funny: Ray Lipowski

Good morning my loves! I figured since I posted my girl Bangs' video yesterday, I'd give you guys another bit of comedy. Today, I'm Giving y'all a set by one of my favorite comedians, Ray Lipowski. I first got exposed to Ray via the clip you're watching now. This clip is his set from his appearance on Martin Lawerence's 1st Amendment Stand-Up show. You can follow Ray on Twitter as well (www.twitter.com/RayLipowski) for more comedy from him.

The Comedy: Big Boobs vs Spagetti Straps

Hey hey hey!! I had to post this video blog (Vlog) for you guys. It comes all the way from England via my favorite British babe Bangs and a Bun. I've been reading her blog for a while now, so I finally decided to share the comedy with you guys. Be sure to go show her some love either at her blog (http://bangsandabun.com/) or on Twitter (www.twitter.com/bangsandabun). 

Besitos,
Toni

Toni-ism #4: Don't Dwell on What You Can't Change

Hey there, loves! I haven't posted a Toni-ism in a minute, so I figured today's as good a day as any to rectify that. Today's goes back with me as far as I can remember. I've always believed that dwelling and holding onto things that you can't change only hinders your growth as a person. Besides, why keep being upset over something when you can't make the outcome any different?

So often, we as humans find ourselves getting all pissed off or whatever appropriate emotion we feel when something happens. It can be an argument with a friend or loved one, or some dumb shit that happened at work. Regardless of what the circumstances are, we all have found ourselves in the position more than once where our anger/sadness/irritation with a situation or the behavior of another person somewhat consumes our thoughts. Rather than living and progressing, you find yourself stuck in a state of immobility. All you can do is think of and talk about how much what happened has you bent outta shape.

Of course, it's good and healthy to vent about it and talk to your friends about what's eating away at you. But, as some point, you have to let it go and move on. Holding onto all those feelings of anger and resentment are doing nothing to help the situation at the end of the day. Whomever it was still made you mad, still did what they did, and, in most cases, aren't sitting around thinking, 'Damn, I really messed up. Let me call/text/email them and make it right' because, just as you feel justified in your feelings, they feel so in theirs.

Emotions are a tricky thing. While no one can control the emotions of another or how they choose to act upon said feelings, we can control how we let it affect us. Sometimes it's hard for us to see past the situation and see the bigger picture, especially when the person we're in the situation with is a close friend or family member. When you love someone, it makes the emotions you feel about the situation ten times stronger, whether they be good feelings or bad ones.

At the end of the day, you have to let go and stop focusing on shit we can't change. Usually, as mad as you are at whomever, they're twice as uninterested in how you're feeling. Why give someone that much power and control over you and your emotions? If they were that concerned with how you're feeling about whatever went down, they would've contacted you. When dealing with situations at work, the best thing to do is just avoid them and keep it moving. I will admit that, when it comes to my coworkers, it's hard for me sometimes to just let the foolishness roll off my back. If I went off and wallowed in the frustration and bullshit every single time some shady stuff happened in here, I would not only have gotten fired, but who knows what else fooling with these saltines up in here.

Of course, there are circumstances that we find ourselves in that make it extra hard not to dwell. I know fo rme, one of those times was recently when my father passed. Part of me wanted to just lock myself in my room with my iPod and some green and just stay there forever. I stopped speaking to my friends and stuff. I was allowing my despair and sorrow to consume and paralyze me. Of course, I'm not over him passing by any means, but I have stopped dwelling in the sadness of it. I couldn't live like my dad always told me to by standing still. I still miss and think of him daily, but I don't let my sadness over his death stop me from living anymore.

And that, my loves, is the lesson to be learned. Of coure, we as humans are gonna get caught in our feelings when someone hurts us or whatever, but disappointment and pain are a part of life, just like joy and success. Rather than living in the past, I live for the future. Instead of dwelling on what I can't change, I look toward my future and remember that this life I"ve been given isn't going to last forever. So, I feel like there's no point in wasting what time I have left here worrying about something or someone that I can't change.

As I always say, I don't claim to be an expert on anything. I just know what has worked for me, what hasn't, and what I'm still trying to figure out. I do know that, no matter what or who it is, I won't allow someone to have power over how I feel about myself. I find that when you think about how much someone has hurt you or pissed you off, you end up looking inward and asking What's wrong with me for them to treat me this way/this to happen. Of course, that's natural. But, when you focus all of your energy on that rather than the things you have control over, you slip into a downward spiral of self-doubt and, sometimes, even self-loathing. I refuse to allow anyone to make me feel like I'm less of a person, regardless of what I have contributed to teh situation. If I'm in the wrong, I'll say so, but I'm not gonna sit here and slit my wrists just because something happened I had no control over.

At the end of the day, loves, this is YOUR life. Hanging onto old shit and living in the past holds your future back. That's why we all want to PROGRESS in life, not DIGRESS (go back). Dwelling on what you can't change or control also blocks the joys of the present from being enjoyed. As my friend always tells me, God brings joy to the joyful.

Con Mucho Amor,
Toni

Things Are Looking Up

So much has been going on the past few months, I've barely had time to breathe, much less update you guys, hence this post. So, take a seat and relax while I fill you in.

Of course, firstly, I want to thank everyone that has been holding me up while I dealt with the passing of my father earlier this year. It's crazy to me that so many folks care so much about me. You never really know that until a situation presents itsself to either confirm or deny this. I am truly grateful for all of the texts, phone calls, emails, IMs and tweets I received offering shoulders to cry on and arms to embrace. You guys are truly amazing and I love you for it.

Okay, now onto the business side of things. I went through a funk when my father passed and just totally stopped writing. I just didn't have it in me at that time. Well, your girl is defintiely back in effect now. I just did a bunch of interviews for the May issue of Street Report Magazine that became available Mother's Day weekend. One of the people I interviewed was Trina and I must say, she's a lot cooler than one would anticipate. I also interviewed Rasheeda, the Boss Bitch of The A. She's truly dope and epitomizes the term Boss Bitch. There's more, but you're gonna have to get the issue to find out what :)

Also, I am now doing the entertainment report on my homeboy Hollywood's radio show, The Hangout, on http://www.hollywood-hangout.net/ every Monday thru Friday at 2:30 & 3:30. We call my segment The Scoop and during it, I basically read the hottest gossip stories and me & Hollywood discuss each one after I read it. I also highlight local artists and independents that I think the world need to know about. I really love working with Hollywood. Not just because he's one of my closest and dearest friends, but because I love what we're doing. We even got an exclusive a couple weeks ago that, as soon as I have the audio, I will be posting for you guys.

And where will it be posted you may ask? No, not on here. Like I've always said, this is my PERSONAL blog, so no business goes on here. That brings me to the next thing I got cooking. In about two weeks, your girl will be doing a weekly column called 'Toni's Take' on http://www.hiphopjunkiez.com/ FTW! This is a big deal for me, as I've never had my own column before. Toni's Take will be pretty much a combination and culmination of all of the blogging work I've been doing over the past couple of years. I'll be doing a little of everything in it. Of course, I'll be dishing the hottest celebrity dirt, but on a weekly basis and with my own spin on the news; kind of like a week in review type of deal. Also, I'll be talking about fashion and even giving a little advice, so y'all stay close and I'll let you know once it launches. I'm so excited about this, y'all.

Finally, like I said in my previous post, I'm a member of the IBGC (International Bad Girls Club) and we're taking over the DMV one party at a time. We held our first event, The Bad Girls Takeover, at K. Street Lounge here in DC last month and it was an epic scene to say the least. We're working on making it a monthly thing, so if you couldn't attend don't worry. Likeblood was in the house for our first event, so you don't wanna miss the next one. You never know who you're gonna run into when you're chilling with the Bad Girls :)

My personal life is pretty much the same as it's always been. Dominic is still the only man in my life that means anything, although he's testing the waters a little bit. But, he's a bad boy like his mama is a bad girl, so what else could I expect?

Like the image on this post says, life is about CREATING yourself. I can honestly say that, at age 29, I am finally creating the Toni that I want to be and will let nothing stand in my way. That's all for now, lovies.

Besos,
Toni

The Definition of a Bad Girl

Hey world!! That's right, The Princess is back! *allows applause to end* I know, it's been far too long. After Dad passed, your girl was really messed up for a while, but I'm back and ready to bring you all you missed.

Now, for those of you that have been keeping up with me on Twitter, you know that I am part of a group of women that call ourselves the International Bad Girls Club. We're made up of some of the most amazing women in the DMV. We hosted our first of many Bad Girls Takeover events at K. Street Lounge last month, so be sure you stay close to me to attend the next one. Of course, as with anything, there are some that consider themselves Bad Girls that really arent. So, I'm gonna lay out what I consider the definition of a Bad Girl to be. As always, the statements to follow are my personal views and not those of anyone else.

We've all seen the show Bad Girls Club on Oxygen at least once. Please don't get ti twisted by thinking that what you've witnessed on television is what a Bad Girl truly is, because that's not the case. As with most reality shows, they are the extreme examples and display more of the negative traits than the positive. In real life, most Bad Girls aren't getting into fights every single day and out sleeping with any guy they come across just for some money or some notoriety. That's groupie/basic bitch stuff, so please don't confuse them with real Bad Girls.

Real Bad Girls know how to act. I'm not gonna show my ass at work like you see these chickens doing on tv becuase I have bills to pay and a shopping habit that requires me to stay employed. A true Bad Girl has her priorities in order and isn't going to do anything to jeopardize the lifestyle she has made for herself. She's not gonna act an ass and risk everything, unless there is a highly justifiable reason in her mind.

The Bad Girls I know are all beautiful, of course, but not just physically. They also have beautiful spirits and personalities. They're not the catty psycho bitches that the tv show makes Bad Girls out to be. Bad Girls aren't always bitchy either, shunning those that aren't as 'bad' as them, contrary to popular belief. I know I'm cool with all kinds of people. Not because I keep people around me to make myself look 'better', but because a truly Bad Girl is the type of girl everyone wants to be around and she loves to be the star of the show.

Don't get it twisted though. Although a true Bad Girl may not always be snapping or fighting, she will if she has to do so to protect herself or those she loves. A Bad Girl makes it known from day one that she isn't about the bullshit and the fuckery. If you violate or cross the line, be prepared to feel the full extent of her wrath, whether it becomes physical or not. She stands up for what she belives in and, most importantly, she stands up for herself. She's not afraid to let you know anything, so you can safely assume that if you fuck up, she's gonna make it public knowledge. She's not petty with it though. She will only put you out there if you have done something to corss or offend her, so, like I always say, tread lightly.

Probably the most noticable trait of a Bad Girl that sets her apart from 'regular' girls is that she does whatever she chooses to and asks for no one's permission or acceptance. She lives by her own rules. If she wants to chill with a guy, she does it, but without compromising her own views, values and self-respect. That's where REAL Bad Girls differ from those you've seen on tv. While both do whatever tehy want, the ones shown on tv do so in a tacky way that makes them look like sluts and gold diggers. A real life Bad Girl makes moves in silence. She doesn't have to tell the world what she has or how she got it. She keeps her business to herself, which makes her a trusted individual to have on your team.

I could go on and on on the subject, but I think I've given you enough of a glimpse into what makes a Bad Girl for now. Leave me a comment and let me know what YOU think defines a Bad Girl.

Con Amor (With Love),

Toni

From the Princess With Love: I'm Okay I Promise

This post is just to let you guys know that I'm okay. Yes, my father died, and yes, I"m really sad about it, but I'm okay. Everyone keeps asking me how I feel and all I say is 'I'm okay.' To be honest, I don't really know what else to say in response. am I supposed to say that I'm on the verge of being on a rooftop with a shotgun shooting random people just for the fuck of it? Probably not, although I can't say I haven't entertained the idea in the past few days (even before my father died). Am I supposed to say that my grief is starting to consume me, making it hard to even breath, much less function like a normal human being?

I mean, seriously, what the fuck kinda answer am I supposed to give to that question?! Like, how am I supposed to be able to put into words all of the different things I'm thinking and feeling right now? I just feel like folks don't really wanna know how I"m doing. It feels like people are just asking to be nice or something. I know that's not really the case, but that's how I feel sometimes. Part of it comes from my own self-esteem issues, not thinking that I"m really worthy of the love I get from people. And part of it comes from my knowledge of human nature. I know that there are people that will just pretend to be close to you just to make themselves look good or whatever.

I went through this phase last week where I was only talking to a very select few people. And when I say I wasn't really talking, I mean it. No tweeting, no texting, no phone calls, NOTHING. I just didn't want to talk to anyone. I was trying to deal with what was going on in the best way I know how. I've always been the type that deals with things inwardly. Sure, I'll rant and swear and whatnot on Twitter or whatever, but at the end of the day, the things I'm dealing with are never really disclosed to anyone, not even those that are closest to me. Why? Because I've always believed that, when people know how you're feeling, they can use it against you later down the road. So, rather than give anyone ammunition against me in this battle called life, I keep all the stuff I'm going thru and feeling to myself.

So, for those that are asking, I'm okay. I'm not suicidal or anything. Homicidal maybe, but that's a story for another day lol. Don't worry about me. I'm a big girl that can handle any and everything put before me. My parents and God have made me into the strong princess before you. I know that your concerns come from love, and I truly appreciate it, but I'm okay, I promise.

Besos y Abrazos (Hugs and Kisses),

Toni (La Princesa)

'If You Need Anything, Let Me Know'

On Saturday, January 30,2010 at 11:55pm, my father, Eric William Jones passed away. He had been sick for a while, so we (my family) were prepared, but that doesn't make it any easier to accept or deal with.

Whenever someone loses a person, the first thing you hear after 'I'm sorry' is 'If you need ANYTHING, just let me know.' The latter phrase always puts me in a funky position. Not because I think I"m one of these people that doesn't need people, but because I've never really been the type that asks for help when I need it. I've always been the type to just work shit out on my own and, if it seems that I can't handle it, then and only then will I ask for help. It's a strange and viscious thing, this pride of mine. It's like, I want people to care enough about me to want to help, but understand that I'm not the type that's gonna ask you to do so.

My father always would get onto me about that. He'd say, 'Toni, no one out here can read your mind. How the hell are they gonna know you need help if you don't ask?' My thing is, how the hell am I supposed to ask for help when I have no idea how to even begin to form my lips to ask for help? I've always felt that, if you can't handle the situations in your life, it shows weakness. Of course, in extreme situations, you gotta get help from others. Like if you're being attacked or something. Trust and believe if my son was in danger or something, I'll ask any and everyone for help. However, when it comes to my needs and whatnot, I just can't bring myself to ask for help.

A friend of mine texted me the other day and said that they were here for me, which I've been getting a lot since my father fell ill four weeks ago. The part that really caught me off guard was when he said (via text) 'If you need anything, will you really tell me and come to me for help?' That's the part of the text that had me trippin'. this friend and I have worked together for almost two years and I consider them family. for him to know that he had to ask me that shows how much I truly don't ask for help. Of course, I replied that I'll ask for help if I need it, but I think him and I both know that it probably won't happen. Not because I don't think he'll help me, because he's done so much for me over the past two years, but because there's no way I can tell him, or anyone else for that matter, that I need help.

I don't want to seem ungrateful, because Lord knows I'm appreciative of every bit of love I receive from those I consider friends and family. I just wish I could make people understand that I'm not the type to ask for help, even when it's painfully obvious that I need it. *sigh* I just wish I could snap my fingers and make this whole fucked up situation disappear; make it like some terrible nightmare that's over because I'm awake now. But, this is real life, and I know that I can't do that. So, rather than tell those close to me that I need help because my heart is broken and my brain is totally consumed and I can barely get out of bed in the morning without my eyes filling with tears, I just say 'I'm okay. Thanks for being here. I appreciate you.' What else am I supposed to do? Provide a big list of things that I need, like hugs and kisses and to hear my father's laugh again? Um, no, that's not gonna work for me.

I can't ask you for help because I don't know how. I mean, clearly I know the words and am able to articulate them (in English and Spanish), but something inside of me just won't let me go to someone, anyone, and be like 'I need your help' because then it appears that I need you because I can't handle things myself. Then I end up feeling weak and also, it makes me feel like I owe you something, you know? Especially if the issue is a monetary one.

At the end of the day, thanks for being here for me. I love you all for your willingness to help me and my family get thru this hard time.

Con Todo Mi Corazon (With all my heart),
Toni