Thursday, May 27, 2010

I Just Don't Get It: The SATC Crazies

This shit is just ridiculous smh.

'GET A FUCKING LIFE!!!!' These are the words I wanna scream from the rooftops every time I read a tweet or hear ladies going on and on and freaking on about Sex and The City 2. As if the first movie wasn't enough of a ball of fuckery, they've decided to beat a dead horse and make a second film. My thing is, when you cross the line and make something that is just supposed to entertain you (and I use the term 'entertain' loosely) into your mantra and life-guide, there's a serious problem there.

These SATC Crazies remind me of Trekkies. Remember how we all used to make fun of them for adopting the Star Trek way of life into their own? This is the exact same thing, but instead of sporting a set of Spok ears, these mindless drones are drinking Cosmos and wearing designer clothes (or knock-offs for the SATC Crazy on a budget). How is it cooler to be a SATC Crazy than a Trekkie? Both are obsessed with fictional characters and are slightly out of touch with reality, so they're pretty equal in my eyes.

Now, I openly admit that I saw the first SATC movie, mostly because I was once a fan of the show (before the shallowness and other various bullshit got to be too much). However, I found the first movie pretty much a waste of time. I'm glad I caught it on cable and didn't pay $10 to sit in a cold theater with the Crazies, because I would've been PISSED! The latest installment of SATC prommises to be full of the same foolishness as the first, but instead of being set in NYC, they'll be overseas in the Middle East.

As you see in the pic posted above, these bitches are gonna be in the desert in Manolos and crazy expensive and elaborate clothes. Seriously?! First off, it's about a zillion and one degrees in the desert, so I doubt ANYONE is out there trying to be that cute. Sure, you wanna look nice wherever you are, but fuck that shit. If I'm going to the desert, I'm not gonna be waring some hot ass leggings. Those things cook your cooch like a roast in the oven. And I DAMN sure am not wearing a dress if I'm gonna be riding a funky ass camel. Like seriously, even the weathliest folks I've seen in pictures and whatnot are wearing simple, understated stuff in the desert. I mean, it's the fucking DESERT!! No one is paying that much attention. Hell, there aren't even any other folks out there, just camels, scorpians, and God knows what other creatures.

Point is, get your life together, ladies. Why would you want to model yourself after a group of women that have no depth to them? Carrie, although I'd kill for her shoe collection, is no one I wanna be. Sure, she's a successful writer like I aspire to be, but the rest of her is as messy as an episode of Maury. Plus, she's not even that cute! I get so tired of hearing about her and seeing these dumb chicks going into debt to be like here it makes me crazy. YOU ARE NOT CARRIE, CHARLOTTE, SAMANTHA, OR MIRANDA!!!! LET IT GO ALREADY!!!!

Oh, and while I'm at it, let me address something I have to put a stop to immediately. Heterosexual males, there is no reason whatsoever for you to be quoting ANYTHING from SATC. If you went to see it, whatever. But for you to be on Twitter quoting the film like a woman does, you're gonna set off someone's gaydar. I just can't with any of that, especially when it's the guys that swear they're the hardest, most masculine men out there. Dude, your pussy's showing, so pull your skirt down.

I'm sure I'm going to get massive unfollows and ugly tweets over this blog post, but I'm not worried. Someone had to stand up for the non-SATC Crazies. I just have an issue with anything that deludes women and gives them false hopes and goals to reach, but maybe that's just me.

What's your beef with SATC, if any?

Con Amor,

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Some Morning Funny: Ray Lipowski

Good morning my loves! I figured since I posted my girl Bangs' video yesterday, I'd give you guys another bit of comedy. Today, I'm Giving y'all a set by one of my favorite comedians, Ray Lipowski. I first got exposed to Ray via the clip you're watching now. This clip is his set from his appearance on Martin Lawerence's 1st Amendment Stand-Up show. You can follow Ray on Twitter as well ( for more comedy from him.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

The Comedy: Big Boobs vs Spagetti Straps

Hey hey hey!! I had to post this video blog (Vlog) for you guys. It comes all the way from England via my favorite British babe Bangs and a Bun. I've been reading her blog for a while now, so I finally decided to share the comedy with you guys. Be sure to go show her some love either at her blog ( or on Twitter ( 


Monday, May 17, 2010

Toni-ism #4: Don't Dwell on What You Can't Change

Hey there, loves! I haven't posted a Toni-ism in a minute, so I figured today's as good a day as any to rectify that. Today's goes back with me as far as I can remember. I've always believed that dwelling and holding onto things that you can't change only hinders your growth as a person. Besides, why keep being upset over something when you can't make the outcome any different?

So often, we as humans find ourselves getting all pissed off or whatever appropriate emotion we feel when something happens. It can be an argument with a friend or loved one, or some dumb shit that happened at work. Regardless of what the circumstances are, we all have found ourselves in the position more than once where our anger/sadness/irritation with a situation or the behavior of another person somewhat consumes our thoughts. Rather than living and progressing, you find yourself stuck in a state of immobility. All you can do is think of and talk about how much what happened has you bent outta shape.

Of course, it's good and healthy to vent about it and talk to your friends about what's eating away at you. But, as some point, you have to let it go and move on. Holding onto all those feelings of anger and resentment are doing nothing to help the situation at the end of the day. Whomever it was still made you mad, still did what they did, and, in most cases, aren't sitting around thinking, 'Damn, I really messed up. Let me call/text/email them and make it right' because, just as you feel justified in your feelings, they feel so in theirs.

Emotions are a tricky thing. While no one can control the emotions of another or how they choose to act upon said feelings, we can control how we let it affect us. Sometimes it's hard for us to see past the situation and see the bigger picture, especially when the person we're in the situation with is a close friend or family member. When you love someone, it makes the emotions you feel about the situation ten times stronger, whether they be good feelings or bad ones.

At the end of the day, you have to let go and stop focusing on shit we can't change. Usually, as mad as you are at whomever, they're twice as uninterested in how you're feeling. Why give someone that much power and control over you and your emotions? If they were that concerned with how you're feeling about whatever went down, they would've contacted you. When dealing with situations at work, the best thing to do is just avoid them and keep it moving. I will admit that, when it comes to my coworkers, it's hard for me sometimes to just let the foolishness roll off my back. If I went off and wallowed in the frustration and bullshit every single time some shady stuff happened in here, I would not only have gotten fired, but who knows what else fooling with these saltines up in here.

Of course, there are circumstances that we find ourselves in that make it extra hard not to dwell. I know fo rme, one of those times was recently when my father passed. Part of me wanted to just lock myself in my room with my iPod and some green and just stay there forever. I stopped speaking to my friends and stuff. I was allowing my despair and sorrow to consume and paralyze me. Of course, I'm not over him passing by any means, but I have stopped dwelling in the sadness of it. I couldn't live like my dad always told me to by standing still. I still miss and think of him daily, but I don't let my sadness over his death stop me from living anymore.

And that, my loves, is the lesson to be learned. Of coure, we as humans are gonna get caught in our feelings when someone hurts us or whatever, but disappointment and pain are a part of life, just like joy and success. Rather than living in the past, I live for the future. Instead of dwelling on what I can't change, I look toward my future and remember that this life I"ve been given isn't going to last forever. So, I feel like there's no point in wasting what time I have left here worrying about something or someone that I can't change.

As I always say, I don't claim to be an expert on anything. I just know what has worked for me, what hasn't, and what I'm still trying to figure out. I do know that, no matter what or who it is, I won't allow someone to have power over how I feel about myself. I find that when you think about how much someone has hurt you or pissed you off, you end up looking inward and asking What's wrong with me for them to treat me this way/this to happen. Of course, that's natural. But, when you focus all of your energy on that rather than the things you have control over, you slip into a downward spiral of self-doubt and, sometimes, even self-loathing. I refuse to allow anyone to make me feel like I'm less of a person, regardless of what I have contributed to teh situation. If I'm in the wrong, I'll say so, but I'm not gonna sit here and slit my wrists just because something happened I had no control over.

At the end of the day, loves, this is YOUR life. Hanging onto old shit and living in the past holds your future back. That's why we all want to PROGRESS in life, not DIGRESS (go back). Dwelling on what you can't change or control also blocks the joys of the present from being enjoyed. As my friend always tells me, God brings joy to the joyful.

Con Mucho Amor,

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Things Are Looking Up

So much has been going on the past few months, I've barely had time to breathe, much less update you guys, hence this post. So, take a seat and relax while I fill you in.

Of course, firstly, I want to thank everyone that has been holding me up while I dealt with the passing of my father earlier this year. It's crazy to me that so many folks care so much about me. You never really know that until a situation presents itsself to either confirm or deny this. I am truly grateful for all of the texts, phone calls, emails, IMs and tweets I received offering shoulders to cry on and arms to embrace. You guys are truly amazing and I love you for it.

Okay, now onto the business side of things. I went through a funk when my father passed and just totally stopped writing. I just didn't have it in me at that time. Well, your girl is defintiely back in effect now. I just did a bunch of interviews for the May issue of Street Report Magazine that became available Mother's Day weekend. One of the people I interviewed was Trina and I must say, she's a lot cooler than one would anticipate. I also interviewed Rasheeda, the Boss Bitch of The A. She's truly dope and epitomizes the term Boss Bitch. There's more, but you're gonna have to get the issue to find out what :)

Also, I am now doing the entertainment report on my homeboy Hollywood's radio show, The Hangout, on every Monday thru Friday at 2:30 & 3:30. We call my segment The Scoop and during it, I basically read the hottest gossip stories and me & Hollywood discuss each one after I read it. I also highlight local artists and independents that I think the world need to know about. I really love working with Hollywood. Not just because he's one of my closest and dearest friends, but because I love what we're doing. We even got an exclusive a couple weeks ago that, as soon as I have the audio, I will be posting for you guys.

And where will it be posted you may ask? No, not on here. Like I've always said, this is my PERSONAL blog, so no business goes on here. That brings me to the next thing I got cooking. In about two weeks, your girl will be doing a weekly column called 'Toni's Take' on FTW! This is a big deal for me, as I've never had my own column before. Toni's Take will be pretty much a combination and culmination of all of the blogging work I've been doing over the past couple of years. I'll be doing a little of everything in it. Of course, I'll be dishing the hottest celebrity dirt, but on a weekly basis and with my own spin on the news; kind of like a week in review type of deal. Also, I'll be talking about fashion and even giving a little advice, so y'all stay close and I'll let you know once it launches. I'm so excited about this, y'all.

Finally, like I said in my previous post, I'm a member of the IBGC (International Bad Girls Club) and we're taking over the DMV one party at a time. We held our first event, The Bad Girls Takeover, at K. Street Lounge here in DC last month and it was an epic scene to say the least. We're working on making it a monthly thing, so if you couldn't attend don't worry. Likeblood was in the house for our first event, so you don't wanna miss the next one. You never know who you're gonna run into when you're chilling with the Bad Girls :)

My personal life is pretty much the same as it's always been. Dominic is still the only man in my life that means anything, although he's testing the waters a little bit. But, he's a bad boy like his mama is a bad girl, so what else could I expect?

Like the image on this post says, life is about CREATING yourself. I can honestly say that, at age 29, I am finally creating the Toni that I want to be and will let nothing stand in my way. That's all for now, lovies.


The Definition of a Bad Girl

Hey world!! That's right, The Princess is back! *allows applause to end* I know, it's been far too long. After Dad passed, your girl was really messed up for a while, but I'm back and ready to bring you all you missed.

Now, for those of you that have been keeping up with me on Twitter, you know that I am part of a group of women that call ourselves the International Bad Girls Club. We're made up of some of the most amazing women in the DMV. We hosted our first of many Bad Girls Takeover events at K. Street Lounge last month, so be sure you stay close to me to attend the next one. Of course, as with anything, there are some that consider themselves Bad Girls that really arent. So, I'm gonna lay out what I consider the definition of a Bad Girl to be. As always, the statements to follow are my personal views and not those of anyone else.

We've all seen the show Bad Girls Club on Oxygen at least once. Please don't get ti twisted by thinking that what you've witnessed on television is what a Bad Girl truly is, because that's not the case. As with most reality shows, they are the extreme examples and display more of the negative traits than the positive. In real life, most Bad Girls aren't getting into fights every single day and out sleeping with any guy they come across just for some money or some notoriety. That's groupie/basic bitch stuff, so please don't confuse them with real Bad Girls.

Real Bad Girls know how to act. I'm not gonna show my ass at work like you see these chickens doing on tv becuase I have bills to pay and a shopping habit that requires me to stay employed. A true Bad Girl has her priorities in order and isn't going to do anything to jeopardize the lifestyle she has made for herself. She's not gonna act an ass and risk everything, unless there is a highly justifiable reason in her mind.

The Bad Girls I know are all beautiful, of course, but not just physically. They also have beautiful spirits and personalities. They're not the catty psycho bitches that the tv show makes Bad Girls out to be. Bad Girls aren't always bitchy either, shunning those that aren't as 'bad' as them, contrary to popular belief. I know I'm cool with all kinds of people. Not because I keep people around me to make myself look 'better', but because a truly Bad Girl is the type of girl everyone wants to be around and she loves to be the star of the show.

Don't get it twisted though. Although a true Bad Girl may not always be snapping or fighting, she will if she has to do so to protect herself or those she loves. A Bad Girl makes it known from day one that she isn't about the bullshit and the fuckery. If you violate or cross the line, be prepared to feel the full extent of her wrath, whether it becomes physical or not. She stands up for what she belives in and, most importantly, she stands up for herself. She's not afraid to let you know anything, so you can safely assume that if you fuck up, she's gonna make it public knowledge. She's not petty with it though. She will only put you out there if you have done something to corss or offend her, so, like I always say, tread lightly.

Probably the most noticable trait of a Bad Girl that sets her apart from 'regular' girls is that she does whatever she chooses to and asks for no one's permission or acceptance. She lives by her own rules. If she wants to chill with a guy, she does it, but without compromising her own views, values and self-respect. That's where REAL Bad Girls differ from those you've seen on tv. While both do whatever tehy want, the ones shown on tv do so in a tacky way that makes them look like sluts and gold diggers. A real life Bad Girl makes moves in silence. She doesn't have to tell the world what she has or how she got it. She keeps her business to herself, which makes her a trusted individual to have on your team.

I could go on and on on the subject, but I think I've given you enough of a glimpse into what makes a Bad Girl for now. Leave me a comment and let me know what YOU think defines a Bad Girl.

Con Amor (With Love),