Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Toni-ism 15: Don't Let Basicness Infect Your Life

Hello, hello world! I know it's been like a month since I wrote here, but I've been hella busy. I"m writing for a new site (in addition to the others I work for), http://www.nikerabackstage.com/. It's a site connected with my girl Nikki's clothing line, Nikera Clothing. I'm loving it! Y'all know me, if nothing else I love to stay busy. Dominic is great, thanks for asking if you did mentally lol. He got all A's & B's on his progress report, so I'm happy.

Okay so, let me get to this. For those of you that are friends of mine on Twitter, you know that a while back, I tweeted my 'Toni-isms'. Now, these are beliefs that I have on how to live life and survive somewhat unscathed. I don't claim to be someone that has all of the answers to happiness and success, but these are things that work for me. A kind of mantra if you will. Anyways, I'm going to start putting htem on my blog here to share with you guys. Now, there will be numbers, but those aren't necessarily the numerical order that they are in in my mind. I moreso put them on there to be cute if you really wanna know lol.

We're gonna talk about basicness today, because I seem to find myself surrounded by it on a regular basis to no fault of my own. Now, the Toni-ism is: 'Don't let basicness infect your life.' When I say 'your life', I mean all aspects of it. When you allow basciness to infect your life, just like with any other disease (like hateration), it eats away at your defenses and makes your immunity to the bullshit go down. Thus, you find yourself thrust full force into the world of the basic, and who wants to be there? Not me said the flea!

Now, for those of you that aren't familiar with the concept of basicness, I put Lil Duval's definition of a basic bitch as the pic on this post. However, don't be fooled into thinking that chicks are the only ones out here doing basic shit. And, there are different levels and degrees of basicness if you ask me. For example, a bitch that trolls the VIP/backstage area looking for a celeb is some basic shit, but it doesn't have to be as blatant as that. I believe that basicness is more of a state of mind than just actions. Basic bitches and dudes think that the ghetto fab way they live is okay. They think that mooching off of someone continuously is the thing to fucking do. Basic people think that their way of life is the only way to live, no matter how pitiful they apear.

I could really go on and on about my definition, but I'll leave it to you to define it for yourself. Basically (no pun intended), basic to me is anything less than productive. If you're a nigga living at home over hte age of 30 and think that's cute, you're a basic ass nigga to me. Get up, get out and do something! Now, this total lack of motivation and desire for more in life is exactly why I tell myself to not let the basicness of others infect my life. People like that tend to pull you totally off track. Either they want you to support them in their basicness, or try to infect you with it. Any way you slice it, you gotta keep the basic out of your space as much as you can. Of course, when the basic person is a loved one or family, it's a little more difficult to exorcise them from your life and spirit. I feel like this: If me being in your presence makes me feel dumber or less than what I felt when I'm away from you, I'm gonna have to kiss you goodbye. It's not because I think I'm better than you, but because my own sanity and joy are more important to me. You can call me a bitch or mean or bougie if you wanna, but I have a child to raise, and if I'm not mentally and emotionally at peace, he won't be either.

I feel that the key to preventing yourself from being infected by the basic is to stand your ground. You have to know what it is that you are willing to accept and tolerate from people off top. If you know you don't wanna have ot break up a fight at the club when you go out with someone, leave their ass at home! It's called prevention, people. I know many don't use that term, so I'll be doing a blog on that topic shortly. (Maybe today who knows? LOL) To keep shit away from you, you have to do whatever you can to stay away from it. When it's your family that's hitting you with the basic shit, you have to decide if they're worth the feelings you have once they're gone. If ANYONE in your life makes you feel uncomfortable in your own skin for ANY reason, you gotta pull back. I know it's hard when it's your family, but you have to take care of yourself too. It's too much damn work to be everything for everybody all the time. At some point, you have to put your priorities and livelihood first.

At the end of the day, no one is perfect, but at some point you have to draw the line as to how much imperfection you can take. I know people that I love dearly but just can't be around them because I can't deal with the bullshit they do. Doesn't mean I love them any less than anyone else that resides in my heart, but I just can't allow myself to be sucked into their basic world. I just can't do it. I know that there are things about me that may drive the next person insane, so this whole thing isn't to try to slam anyone that's not 'like me' per say. I just refuse to allow someone's mentality and lack of whatever to bring me down. If I'm a bitch for that, so be it. Like I always say, 'I'm not a bitch. I just play one in your life.' Take that one any way you choose to.

Well, gang, I'm out! Drop me a comment and let me know what YOUR '-ism' or mantra is.

Con much amor (With Much Love),

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