VH1 Hip-Hop Honors: The Dirty South

Last night, VH1 aired their Hip-Hop honors: The Dirty South show and to say I was disappointed would be a gross understatement. While I believe and know VH1 had good intentions going into the show, I think they executed it poorly.

Okay so, the fact that Outkast wasn't honored pissed me off in a major way. I honestly didn't watch the first hour of the program because I was so in my feelings about Andre & Big Boi not getting the honor they so rightfully deserve. I mean, how are you gonna honor Southern Hip-Hop and NOT give Outkast a mention or award or whatever they received on the show last night? Like seriously, VH1, that's just ridiculous. I am aware that many artists declined being honored/performing on the show for whatever reason, but to not give Outkast their due respect is just ignorant. Outkast is one of the main groups people all over the world use to identify the South, so to not honor them is just disrespectful. Then, to add insult to injury, they had Nelly (who hasn't put out a decent album in who knows how long and isn't even from the South) performing an Outkast song during the Organized Noise set. Really?! Are you serious?! I almost punched my tv watching that foolishness.

Then, VH1 had Asher Roth (y'all remember him; the saltine rapper whose album flopped and allegedly made racist comments) performing a Ludacris song. That shit right there infuriated me. I mean, they couldn't call Luda and ask him to perform his own damn song?! Then, Asher didn't even do it justice! They should've had Eminem do it if they were gonna throw some saltines in the soup. At least Em is a credible artist. That Asher Roth is a hot damn mess. To have him doing a Luda song totally shit on the South in my humble opinion. I mean, I read tweets and some folks didn't even know who the hell Asher IS!! C'mon, VH1, I need y'all to get your whole life together STAT.

Okay let me say something positive before I continue this roast. The No Limit set was probably my favorite on the show. Mystikal, who just got outta jail not too long ago, came out on stage and KILLED it!! He made Gucci (who was there in his LisaRaye gear-all White everything, including his ashy lips) and all the young bucks that were at the show look dumb as shit. He made my entire day I promise you. Silkk the Shocker even came through and did a lil something. I woulda loved to see Mia X on stage too, but I"m happy with who No Limit had. Even Master P got his old ass up and did a lil something lol.

Another set I liked, but was a little confused about, was the Timbaland honors set. Okay, I know VA is technically the South, and he IS one of the dopest producers in the game. That goes without saying or argument. I guess I just didn't understand why, rather than having folks perform Timbaland rap tracks (I mean, he has put out his own albums, VH1), they had people performing tracks that Timbaland had produced. I'm not saying that that was a bad thing at all, just a little off to me *shrug*. Missy came out in her staple Adidas track suit (leather too lol) and did her damn thing. I was siced (happy for you non-DMV readers) to see her, although her half hawk was a little much for me.

Okay, back to a little negative. Why the HELL was Diddy there at a show honoring the South?! His attention whore ass always has to be on some shit. And him performing with JD and Bow Wow was just too much for me to deal with. When Diddy showed his grill, I about died from disbelief. Really, Diddy, I need you to sit down somewhere already. I'm so over him I don't know what to do with myself. Of course, I respect his hustle and his grind. He's one of the few folks in the industry that has maintained longevity, however he did it. We all have our theories on that one, but I'll save that for another blog.

They honored 2 Live Crew last night, which made sense to me because they did pave the way for rappers to curse on records and fight for their 1st Amendment rights. I respect that to the fullest. However, they looked like they had just snuck out of the retirement home when they were performing. Then, Luke's whole speech at the end of their performance was a little strange to me.

Now, my biggest beef with this whole show isn't who performed as much as who was left out. Where the hell were 8Ball & MJG? Where was T.I.?! He kinda introduced the Atlanta set, but he should've been on that stage performing since he is the King of the South. DUH VH1! And why wasn't Goodie Mob honored? Or Triple 6 Mafia? Or Young Buck? Or anyone else from Tennessee for that matter! What about Tha YoungBloodZ? I'm fully aware that it would've taken all night to honor EVERYONE that's deserving, but damn VH1. Y'all couldn't have picked the best?! Of course, since VH1 is mainstream, they're gonna highlight more mainstream people, which I get, but Luda isn't mainstream enough for them? Triple 6 isn't either? The list goes on and on.

Like I said earlier in this post, I know that some artists like Young Money declined to be on the show for one reason or another. Mac Mane of YM tweeted that they didn't go because they felt it wouldn't be the same without Wayne there. Ummmmm, okay. Didn't T.I.'s camp still perform and accept his award at the BET Awards when T.I. first went away? I'm not trying to throw shade, but c'mon y'all. Others declined because they didn't feel right about the show as a whole, that the timing wasn't right. That speaks volumes to me about the whole thing.

At the end of the day, the thought behind the show was awesome. Honoring the South as a major Hip-Hop hub in this country was definitely a good look. However, I feel that the show didn't do justice to Southern Hip-Hop artists and the culture. They had this one dude doing a voice over and he said 'Peachtree City is Atlanta Hip-Hop.' Seriously?! Now, I lived in Atlanta for a long time, and I NEVER heard of any rappers coming outta Peachtree City. I know a lot of ATL rappers live in Buckhead and the suburbs now that they're rich, but I doubt they started out living there. Matter of fact, I KNOW T.I. didn't, but whatever.

Then I got mad at myself for expecting more from the network that brought us Flavor of Love, I Love New York, Basketball Wives, etc. etc. I shoulda known better than to trust them to respect Hip-Hop the way it deserves to be. These bamas at VH1 are distributing coonery at an alarming rate. Do y'all realize that almost all of the reality shows with Black folks are on VH1? This summer alone, T.O. AND Ocho Cinco are gonna have shows on there, and Basketball Wives got picked up for another season. I'm not even gonna touch the Brandy (whose wig last night was a monstrosity btw) and Ray J show.

As I've said repeatedly throughout this post, I feel VH1 had good intentions, but they didn't execute the show well at all. Between the unfunny host to the whack jokes at the end, I just can't with the whole thing. VH1 could've done a much better job of selecting the honorees. Maybe they'll see the abundant Twitter rants from various people and do another one to honor more of the South's greats. Outkast, Goodie Mob, Triple 6, Scarface, Luda, T.I., and the rest of the South's greats that didn't get honored, don't worry. The fans know what it really is.

So what did y'all think of the show last night?

Besos,
Toni

Excuse Me Sir, Your Vag is Showing

I just cannot understand what is happening to guys these days. In such a 'pause' and 'no homo' driven society, the fact that so many of these dudes are in need of Manpons and Midol astounds me. There is a great difference between a man that is in tune with his feminine side and a guy that's acting like a straight chick. And by 'acting like a straight chick', I don't mean homosexual men that dress up & live as women. At least they're open with their chickness. I'm talking about these straight 'I'm the hardest dude on the block' guys that, if you ask me, are all in need of some serious hormone therapy.

Now, fellas, I'm sure you're thinking to yourself (or saying aloud, whatever moves you), 'Hol' up, T! Yall chicks complain when we aren't sensitive enough, now you're saying we're TOO sensitive?!' Um, yes, fellas, that's what I'm saying. Not ALL of you, before I get hit with these crazy messages. However, the number of Vaggy guys is starting to grow at an enormous rate, so I had to bring attention to this epidemic. There is such thing as being TOO sensitive, guys. Sure, we women want you to understand us and not treat us like youhave no clue how we feel, but when you take that to the next level, it's definitely no bueno.

Perfect example: Dating a dude that makes a woman feel like she's the one that has the testosterone. This is just crazy to me. I've been in this position before and it sucks. If every time I say something to you that you don't wanna hear (which, be notified, is a great occurrence when dealing with me) you break down into tears, that's not gonna work for me. C'mon, dude, seriously?  coming at me with that 'you don't really love me' crap every time I say I do will not only get a Midol slipped into your drink, but a tampon placed in your pants pocket. Feeling emotions isn't the problem here, guys, so please don't take it to the extreme. It's about balance. Sure, I want you to be sensitive to my needs, but I don't want you crying all the damn time.

Another thing you dudes do that screams vaginal is gossip. Now, I don't give a good hot damn what any of you dudes say. Y'all gossip and whatnot just as much, if not more, than we women do. At least us girls own it and don't try to do it under the guise of just trying to converse with a chick to get with her. I've witnessed guys sitting around together, much like us women do, talking about another dude like he's the worst person in the world, but when they see him it's all good. Now, if that ain't some female stuff, I don't know what it. If you're gonna talk shit about us women running our mouths all the time, do me a favor and check yourself prior.

The place to find the biggest congregation of vaggy dudes is on Twitter. I swear, I never knew how girly rappers, thugs, and every kinda guy in between could be softer than Charmin triple ply. I understand we live in a hyper sensitive society these days, but Twitter must be where the vaggy boys go to meet and learn the tricks of the trade. These dudes read a tweet, sometimes not even directed towards them, and totally get in their feelings like you just told them you heard they have a little pecker or something. Fellas, this has GOT TO STOP! Unless a woman tells you directly you're a pussy or have a little pecker or whatever else we women may say about men, please don't feel the need to get in your feelings. It's fucking ridiculous and it makes your huge vag show even more.

And fellas, please, for the love of God, be mindful of how you use text acronyms like 'LOL', 'LLS', and the infamous smiley face. While it's cool to use one here and there occassionally, if every text I get form you has 'lls' or something similar in it, not only will I talk about you to my friends, I will suddenly disappear from your life. I can't with that shit right there. Of all teh vaggy things you guys do, that may be in my top 3. Fellas, just cuz Trey & Soulja Boy did a song about it, that doesn't make using or saying 'LOL :)' a socially acceptable text or tweet. Furthermore, if anything Soulja says is key in your thinking, you need more help than I am able to give.

I could go on forever about this, as I'm sure y'all already know, but I'm gonna leave it alone. Just know, fellas, just like you're watching our every word and comment, we women are doing the same to you. Just like you get in your little circles and talk about us, we're doing the same about you. If you're calling yourself a man, please act like one. I'm not saying you have to be a heartless prick to qualify as a 'real man' by any means, so please don't twist it that way. All I'm saying is, keep your female tendencies in check because, if a woman has to call you out on it, it won't be pretty.


Con Amor,
Toni

I Just Don't Get It: The SATC Crazies

This shit is just ridiculous smh.

'GET A FUCKING LIFE!!!!' These are the words I wanna scream from the rooftops every time I read a tweet or hear ladies going on and on and freaking on about Sex and The City 2. As if the first movie wasn't enough of a ball of fuckery, they've decided to beat a dead horse and make a second film. My thing is, when you cross the line and make something that is just supposed to entertain you (and I use the term 'entertain' loosely) into your mantra and life-guide, there's a serious problem there.

These SATC Crazies remind me of Trekkies. Remember how we all used to make fun of them for adopting the Star Trek way of life into their own? This is the exact same thing, but instead of sporting a set of Spok ears, these mindless drones are drinking Cosmos and wearing designer clothes (or knock-offs for the SATC Crazy on a budget). How is it cooler to be a SATC Crazy than a Trekkie? Both are obsessed with fictional characters and are slightly out of touch with reality, so they're pretty equal in my eyes.

Now, I openly admit that I saw the first SATC movie, mostly because I was once a fan of the show (before the shallowness and other various bullshit got to be too much). However, I found the first movie pretty much a waste of time. I'm glad I caught it on cable and didn't pay $10 to sit in a cold theater with the Crazies, because I would've been PISSED! The latest installment of SATC prommises to be full of the same foolishness as the first, but instead of being set in NYC, they'll be overseas in the Middle East.

As you see in the pic posted above, these bitches are gonna be in the desert in Manolos and crazy expensive and elaborate clothes. Seriously?! First off, it's about a zillion and one degrees in the desert, so I doubt ANYONE is out there trying to be that cute. Sure, you wanna look nice wherever you are, but fuck that shit. If I'm going to the desert, I'm not gonna be waring some hot ass leggings. Those things cook your cooch like a roast in the oven. And I DAMN sure am not wearing a dress if I'm gonna be riding a funky ass camel. Like seriously, even the weathliest folks I've seen in pictures and whatnot are wearing simple, understated stuff in the desert. I mean, it's the fucking DESERT!! No one is paying that much attention. Hell, there aren't even any other folks out there, just camels, scorpians, and God knows what other creatures.

Point is, get your life together, ladies. Why would you want to model yourself after a group of women that have no depth to them? Carrie, although I'd kill for her shoe collection, is no one I wanna be. Sure, she's a successful writer like I aspire to be, but the rest of her is as messy as an episode of Maury. Plus, she's not even that cute! I get so tired of hearing about her and seeing these dumb chicks going into debt to be like here it makes me crazy. YOU ARE NOT CARRIE, CHARLOTTE, SAMANTHA, OR MIRANDA!!!! LET IT GO ALREADY!!!!

Oh, and while I'm at it, let me address something I have to put a stop to immediately. Heterosexual males, there is no reason whatsoever for you to be quoting ANYTHING from SATC. If you went to see it, whatever. But for you to be on Twitter quoting the film like a woman does, you're gonna set off someone's gaydar. I just can't with any of that, especially when it's the guys that swear they're the hardest, most masculine men out there. Dude, your pussy's showing, so pull your skirt down.

I'm sure I'm going to get massive unfollows and ugly tweets over this blog post, but I'm not worried. Someone had to stand up for the non-SATC Crazies. I just have an issue with anything that deludes women and gives them false hopes and goals to reach, but maybe that's just me.

What's your beef with SATC, if any?

Con Amor,
Toni

Some Morning Funny: Ray Lipowski

Good morning my loves! I figured since I posted my girl Bangs' video yesterday, I'd give you guys another bit of comedy. Today, I'm Giving y'all a set by one of my favorite comedians, Ray Lipowski. I first got exposed to Ray via the clip you're watching now. This clip is his set from his appearance on Martin Lawerence's 1st Amendment Stand-Up show. You can follow Ray on Twitter as well (www.twitter.com/RayLipowski) for more comedy from him.

The Comedy: Big Boobs vs Spagetti Straps

Hey hey hey!! I had to post this video blog (Vlog) for you guys. It comes all the way from England via my favorite British babe Bangs and a Bun. I've been reading her blog for a while now, so I finally decided to share the comedy with you guys. Be sure to go show her some love either at her blog (http://bangsandabun.com/) or on Twitter (www.twitter.com/bangsandabun). 

Besitos,
Toni

Toni-ism #4: Don't Dwell on What You Can't Change

Hey there, loves! I haven't posted a Toni-ism in a minute, so I figured today's as good a day as any to rectify that. Today's goes back with me as far as I can remember. I've always believed that dwelling and holding onto things that you can't change only hinders your growth as a person. Besides, why keep being upset over something when you can't make the outcome any different?

So often, we as humans find ourselves getting all pissed off or whatever appropriate emotion we feel when something happens. It can be an argument with a friend or loved one, or some dumb shit that happened at work. Regardless of what the circumstances are, we all have found ourselves in the position more than once where our anger/sadness/irritation with a situation or the behavior of another person somewhat consumes our thoughts. Rather than living and progressing, you find yourself stuck in a state of immobility. All you can do is think of and talk about how much what happened has you bent outta shape.

Of course, it's good and healthy to vent about it and talk to your friends about what's eating away at you. But, as some point, you have to let it go and move on. Holding onto all those feelings of anger and resentment are doing nothing to help the situation at the end of the day. Whomever it was still made you mad, still did what they did, and, in most cases, aren't sitting around thinking, 'Damn, I really messed up. Let me call/text/email them and make it right' because, just as you feel justified in your feelings, they feel so in theirs.

Emotions are a tricky thing. While no one can control the emotions of another or how they choose to act upon said feelings, we can control how we let it affect us. Sometimes it's hard for us to see past the situation and see the bigger picture, especially when the person we're in the situation with is a close friend or family member. When you love someone, it makes the emotions you feel about the situation ten times stronger, whether they be good feelings or bad ones.

At the end of the day, you have to let go and stop focusing on shit we can't change. Usually, as mad as you are at whomever, they're twice as uninterested in how you're feeling. Why give someone that much power and control over you and your emotions? If they were that concerned with how you're feeling about whatever went down, they would've contacted you. When dealing with situations at work, the best thing to do is just avoid them and keep it moving. I will admit that, when it comes to my coworkers, it's hard for me sometimes to just let the foolishness roll off my back. If I went off and wallowed in the frustration and bullshit every single time some shady stuff happened in here, I would not only have gotten fired, but who knows what else fooling with these saltines up in here.

Of course, there are circumstances that we find ourselves in that make it extra hard not to dwell. I know fo rme, one of those times was recently when my father passed. Part of me wanted to just lock myself in my room with my iPod and some green and just stay there forever. I stopped speaking to my friends and stuff. I was allowing my despair and sorrow to consume and paralyze me. Of course, I'm not over him passing by any means, but I have stopped dwelling in the sadness of it. I couldn't live like my dad always told me to by standing still. I still miss and think of him daily, but I don't let my sadness over his death stop me from living anymore.

And that, my loves, is the lesson to be learned. Of coure, we as humans are gonna get caught in our feelings when someone hurts us or whatever, but disappointment and pain are a part of life, just like joy and success. Rather than living in the past, I live for the future. Instead of dwelling on what I can't change, I look toward my future and remember that this life I"ve been given isn't going to last forever. So, I feel like there's no point in wasting what time I have left here worrying about something or someone that I can't change.

As I always say, I don't claim to be an expert on anything. I just know what has worked for me, what hasn't, and what I'm still trying to figure out. I do know that, no matter what or who it is, I won't allow someone to have power over how I feel about myself. I find that when you think about how much someone has hurt you or pissed you off, you end up looking inward and asking What's wrong with me for them to treat me this way/this to happen. Of course, that's natural. But, when you focus all of your energy on that rather than the things you have control over, you slip into a downward spiral of self-doubt and, sometimes, even self-loathing. I refuse to allow anyone to make me feel like I'm less of a person, regardless of what I have contributed to teh situation. If I'm in the wrong, I'll say so, but I'm not gonna sit here and slit my wrists just because something happened I had no control over.

At the end of the day, loves, this is YOUR life. Hanging onto old shit and living in the past holds your future back. That's why we all want to PROGRESS in life, not DIGRESS (go back). Dwelling on what you can't change or control also blocks the joys of the present from being enjoyed. As my friend always tells me, God brings joy to the joyful.

Con Mucho Amor,
Toni

Things Are Looking Up

So much has been going on the past few months, I've barely had time to breathe, much less update you guys, hence this post. So, take a seat and relax while I fill you in.

Of course, firstly, I want to thank everyone that has been holding me up while I dealt with the passing of my father earlier this year. It's crazy to me that so many folks care so much about me. You never really know that until a situation presents itsself to either confirm or deny this. I am truly grateful for all of the texts, phone calls, emails, IMs and tweets I received offering shoulders to cry on and arms to embrace. You guys are truly amazing and I love you for it.

Okay, now onto the business side of things. I went through a funk when my father passed and just totally stopped writing. I just didn't have it in me at that time. Well, your girl is defintiely back in effect now. I just did a bunch of interviews for the May issue of Street Report Magazine that became available Mother's Day weekend. One of the people I interviewed was Trina and I must say, she's a lot cooler than one would anticipate. I also interviewed Rasheeda, the Boss Bitch of The A. She's truly dope and epitomizes the term Boss Bitch. There's more, but you're gonna have to get the issue to find out what :)

Also, I am now doing the entertainment report on my homeboy Hollywood's radio show, The Hangout, on http://www.hollywood-hangout.net/ every Monday thru Friday at 2:30 & 3:30. We call my segment The Scoop and during it, I basically read the hottest gossip stories and me & Hollywood discuss each one after I read it. I also highlight local artists and independents that I think the world need to know about. I really love working with Hollywood. Not just because he's one of my closest and dearest friends, but because I love what we're doing. We even got an exclusive a couple weeks ago that, as soon as I have the audio, I will be posting for you guys.

And where will it be posted you may ask? No, not on here. Like I've always said, this is my PERSONAL blog, so no business goes on here. That brings me to the next thing I got cooking. In about two weeks, your girl will be doing a weekly column called 'Toni's Take' on http://www.hiphopjunkiez.com/ FTW! This is a big deal for me, as I've never had my own column before. Toni's Take will be pretty much a combination and culmination of all of the blogging work I've been doing over the past couple of years. I'll be doing a little of everything in it. Of course, I'll be dishing the hottest celebrity dirt, but on a weekly basis and with my own spin on the news; kind of like a week in review type of deal. Also, I'll be talking about fashion and even giving a little advice, so y'all stay close and I'll let you know once it launches. I'm so excited about this, y'all.

Finally, like I said in my previous post, I'm a member of the IBGC (International Bad Girls Club) and we're taking over the DMV one party at a time. We held our first event, The Bad Girls Takeover, at K. Street Lounge here in DC last month and it was an epic scene to say the least. We're working on making it a monthly thing, so if you couldn't attend don't worry. Likeblood was in the house for our first event, so you don't wanna miss the next one. You never know who you're gonna run into when you're chilling with the Bad Girls :)

My personal life is pretty much the same as it's always been. Dominic is still the only man in my life that means anything, although he's testing the waters a little bit. But, he's a bad boy like his mama is a bad girl, so what else could I expect?

Like the image on this post says, life is about CREATING yourself. I can honestly say that, at age 29, I am finally creating the Toni that I want to be and will let nothing stand in my way. That's all for now, lovies.

Besos,
Toni