The Definition of a Bad Girl

Hey world!! That's right, The Princess is back! *allows applause to end* I know, it's been far too long. After Dad passed, your girl was really messed up for a while, but I'm back and ready to bring you all you missed.

Now, for those of you that have been keeping up with me on Twitter, you know that I am part of a group of women that call ourselves the International Bad Girls Club. We're made up of some of the most amazing women in the DMV. We hosted our first of many Bad Girls Takeover events at K. Street Lounge last month, so be sure you stay close to me to attend the next one. Of course, as with anything, there are some that consider themselves Bad Girls that really arent. So, I'm gonna lay out what I consider the definition of a Bad Girl to be. As always, the statements to follow are my personal views and not those of anyone else.

We've all seen the show Bad Girls Club on Oxygen at least once. Please don't get ti twisted by thinking that what you've witnessed on television is what a Bad Girl truly is, because that's not the case. As with most reality shows, they are the extreme examples and display more of the negative traits than the positive. In real life, most Bad Girls aren't getting into fights every single day and out sleeping with any guy they come across just for some money or some notoriety. That's groupie/basic bitch stuff, so please don't confuse them with real Bad Girls.

Real Bad Girls know how to act. I'm not gonna show my ass at work like you see these chickens doing on tv becuase I have bills to pay and a shopping habit that requires me to stay employed. A true Bad Girl has her priorities in order and isn't going to do anything to jeopardize the lifestyle she has made for herself. She's not gonna act an ass and risk everything, unless there is a highly justifiable reason in her mind.

The Bad Girls I know are all beautiful, of course, but not just physically. They also have beautiful spirits and personalities. They're not the catty psycho bitches that the tv show makes Bad Girls out to be. Bad Girls aren't always bitchy either, shunning those that aren't as 'bad' as them, contrary to popular belief. I know I'm cool with all kinds of people. Not because I keep people around me to make myself look 'better', but because a truly Bad Girl is the type of girl everyone wants to be around and she loves to be the star of the show.

Don't get it twisted though. Although a true Bad Girl may not always be snapping or fighting, she will if she has to do so to protect herself or those she loves. A Bad Girl makes it known from day one that she isn't about the bullshit and the fuckery. If you violate or cross the line, be prepared to feel the full extent of her wrath, whether it becomes physical or not. She stands up for what she belives in and, most importantly, she stands up for herself. She's not afraid to let you know anything, so you can safely assume that if you fuck up, she's gonna make it public knowledge. She's not petty with it though. She will only put you out there if you have done something to corss or offend her, so, like I always say, tread lightly.

Probably the most noticable trait of a Bad Girl that sets her apart from 'regular' girls is that she does whatever she chooses to and asks for no one's permission or acceptance. She lives by her own rules. If she wants to chill with a guy, she does it, but without compromising her own views, values and self-respect. That's where REAL Bad Girls differ from those you've seen on tv. While both do whatever tehy want, the ones shown on tv do so in a tacky way that makes them look like sluts and gold diggers. A real life Bad Girl makes moves in silence. She doesn't have to tell the world what she has or how she got it. She keeps her business to herself, which makes her a trusted individual to have on your team.

I could go on and on on the subject, but I think I've given you enough of a glimpse into what makes a Bad Girl for now. Leave me a comment and let me know what YOU think defines a Bad Girl.

Con Amor (With Love),

Toni

From the Princess With Love: I'm Okay I Promise

This post is just to let you guys know that I'm okay. Yes, my father died, and yes, I"m really sad about it, but I'm okay. Everyone keeps asking me how I feel and all I say is 'I'm okay.' To be honest, I don't really know what else to say in response. am I supposed to say that I'm on the verge of being on a rooftop with a shotgun shooting random people just for the fuck of it? Probably not, although I can't say I haven't entertained the idea in the past few days (even before my father died). Am I supposed to say that my grief is starting to consume me, making it hard to even breath, much less function like a normal human being?

I mean, seriously, what the fuck kinda answer am I supposed to give to that question?! Like, how am I supposed to be able to put into words all of the different things I'm thinking and feeling right now? I just feel like folks don't really wanna know how I"m doing. It feels like people are just asking to be nice or something. I know that's not really the case, but that's how I feel sometimes. Part of it comes from my own self-esteem issues, not thinking that I"m really worthy of the love I get from people. And part of it comes from my knowledge of human nature. I know that there are people that will just pretend to be close to you just to make themselves look good or whatever.

I went through this phase last week where I was only talking to a very select few people. And when I say I wasn't really talking, I mean it. No tweeting, no texting, no phone calls, NOTHING. I just didn't want to talk to anyone. I was trying to deal with what was going on in the best way I know how. I've always been the type that deals with things inwardly. Sure, I'll rant and swear and whatnot on Twitter or whatever, but at the end of the day, the things I'm dealing with are never really disclosed to anyone, not even those that are closest to me. Why? Because I've always believed that, when people know how you're feeling, they can use it against you later down the road. So, rather than give anyone ammunition against me in this battle called life, I keep all the stuff I'm going thru and feeling to myself.

So, for those that are asking, I'm okay. I'm not suicidal or anything. Homicidal maybe, but that's a story for another day lol. Don't worry about me. I'm a big girl that can handle any and everything put before me. My parents and God have made me into the strong princess before you. I know that your concerns come from love, and I truly appreciate it, but I'm okay, I promise.

Besos y Abrazos (Hugs and Kisses),

Toni (La Princesa)

'If You Need Anything, Let Me Know'

On Saturday, January 30,2010 at 11:55pm, my father, Eric William Jones passed away. He had been sick for a while, so we (my family) were prepared, but that doesn't make it any easier to accept or deal with.

Whenever someone loses a person, the first thing you hear after 'I'm sorry' is 'If you need ANYTHING, just let me know.' The latter phrase always puts me in a funky position. Not because I think I"m one of these people that doesn't need people, but because I've never really been the type that asks for help when I need it. I've always been the type to just work shit out on my own and, if it seems that I can't handle it, then and only then will I ask for help. It's a strange and viscious thing, this pride of mine. It's like, I want people to care enough about me to want to help, but understand that I'm not the type that's gonna ask you to do so.

My father always would get onto me about that. He'd say, 'Toni, no one out here can read your mind. How the hell are they gonna know you need help if you don't ask?' My thing is, how the hell am I supposed to ask for help when I have no idea how to even begin to form my lips to ask for help? I've always felt that, if you can't handle the situations in your life, it shows weakness. Of course, in extreme situations, you gotta get help from others. Like if you're being attacked or something. Trust and believe if my son was in danger or something, I'll ask any and everyone for help. However, when it comes to my needs and whatnot, I just can't bring myself to ask for help.

A friend of mine texted me the other day and said that they were here for me, which I've been getting a lot since my father fell ill four weeks ago. The part that really caught me off guard was when he said (via text) 'If you need anything, will you really tell me and come to me for help?' That's the part of the text that had me trippin'. this friend and I have worked together for almost two years and I consider them family. for him to know that he had to ask me that shows how much I truly don't ask for help. Of course, I replied that I'll ask for help if I need it, but I think him and I both know that it probably won't happen. Not because I don't think he'll help me, because he's done so much for me over the past two years, but because there's no way I can tell him, or anyone else for that matter, that I need help.

I don't want to seem ungrateful, because Lord knows I'm appreciative of every bit of love I receive from those I consider friends and family. I just wish I could make people understand that I'm not the type to ask for help, even when it's painfully obvious that I need it. *sigh* I just wish I could snap my fingers and make this whole fucked up situation disappear; make it like some terrible nightmare that's over because I'm awake now. But, this is real life, and I know that I can't do that. So, rather than tell those close to me that I need help because my heart is broken and my brain is totally consumed and I can barely get out of bed in the morning without my eyes filling with tears, I just say 'I'm okay. Thanks for being here. I appreciate you.' What else am I supposed to do? Provide a big list of things that I need, like hugs and kisses and to hear my father's laugh again? Um, no, that's not gonna work for me.

I can't ask you for help because I don't know how. I mean, clearly I know the words and am able to articulate them (in English and Spanish), but something inside of me just won't let me go to someone, anyone, and be like 'I need your help' because then it appears that I need you because I can't handle things myself. Then I end up feeling weak and also, it makes me feel like I owe you something, you know? Especially if the issue is a monetary one.

At the end of the day, thanks for being here for me. I love you all for your willingness to help me and my family get thru this hard time.

Con Todo Mi Corazon (With all my heart),
Toni

I Just Don't Get It: Dickriders

In this 'NO HOMO' and 'PAUSE' era we find ourselves in these days, the male groupie, also known as the dickrider, totally baffles me. I just don't understand how these guys that would slap the shit outta someone for calling them homosexual can openly, albeit metaphorically, suck the next guy's dick.

For those of you unclear on just what a dickrider is, let me clarify. A dickrider is a guy that is constantly talking about hte next dude in a way that shows a little too much admiration. Rather than coming across as just another fan, they come off looking like they're trying to hook up with the guy. Usually, the guy the dickrider is always talking about is a celebrity of some kind. In our discussion, we're talking about guys that ride a rapper's dick so hard you'd think they were sharing a body. A woman that behaves this way is usually known as a 'groupie'.

Twitter has given the dickrider a whole new platform. Now, they use their timelines to shamelessly promote the artist that they're riding. Now, let me be very clear before I get serious shade thrown my way. I'm not against supporting artists and encouraging people to open their minds, ears and wallets to an artist. I'm talking abouth the type of person that has nothing else to talk about but the artist they love. When every single tweet you send is about this artist, a dude that stands up to pee just like you, it's a little suspect to me. I know that artists have street teams and promotion teams that pay people to endorse and advertise their albums. BUT, if you're just giving this dude publicity for free, what does that say about you? I also know that sometimes, this happens when local artists have their friends doing promo for them. I'm all about supporting local artists that 'make it big' so to speak, but when I can't tell if I'm talking to them or to you, there's a problem. I mean, what makes this guy so special that you'd be willing to come across as looking like you're in the closet? I seriously wanna know what the fuck could be so special about an artist to make them the center of a heterosexual man's universe?

If the only thing that you have to talk about is the next dude, how is anyone gonna get to know YOU?! You're just gonna be considered another dickrider; someone that wants 'the life' so badly you try to live through the next dude. Rather than promotiong someone that doesn't give a shit about you, try promoting YOURSELF!! I can Google an artist and get their whole life story. Clearly, if I'm talking to you, you're the one I'm interested in talking to and about.

It's really quite pathetic if you want my honest opinion. And, if you're doing all this promo for free, that's even worse. Look at it this way: Hookers, they ride dick too, but at least they're getting paid for it. You're out here giving it up for free. What's missing from your life that you have to make a celeb the center of it? They're not doing shit but laughing at you at the end of the day. Sure, they'll tweet and say in interviews that they 'love the fan support', but how many times do you see them actually talking to us 'regular folks'?

I'm a fan of tons of artists, both unsigned and labeled up, but I can't see myself making any of them the center of my conversations and life. I don't spend my day discussing them and if someone else doesn't like them, I don't jump down their throat like they just dissed my momma. That shit is sick, dude, like for real. Either you have serious self-esteem or sexuality issues, or maybe both who knows. Or, maybe you just never got off your ass and did something with yourself so you're suckin' the next dude off in hopes of making a name for yourself. Unfortunatly, the only name you're making for yourself is DICKRIDER.

Whatever the reason is, the shit has to stop! If you're the type of dude I just talked about, I'm sincerely sorry that your life is so empty you have to fill it by riding the next dude's dick. Seriously, get a life of your own. These celebs you're making famous aren't doing anything to better your life.

I know I'm not hte only person who's noticed this shit, am I? Drop me a comment and let me know what you think.

Besitos,

Toni

I'm Back!!

Hello, world! I know, I know, I've been gone for entirely too damn long. The phrase you see above is something I've been telling myself for the past few weeks as I've been on serious hiatus. As some of you may know, I haven't even really tweeted in almost exactly two weeks, which is crazy when you think of just how much I was tweeting on the regular.

See, I lost my job two weeks ago and it had me seriously fucked up in the head. Like, for real, I haven't been as depressed as I was over the past two weeks since my grandmother died 14 years ago. I know they totally aren't the same type of event, but the pain I felt was certainly real. I was a mess; couldn't really eat or sleep, didn't wanna talk to anyone, and cried for the first 24 hours off and on. The whole situation was crazy. I won't give specifics because there's no point. I'm over it now and back in effect so why continue to give the past conversation in the present?

I wanna thank all of my friends that kept in contact with me and checked up on me while I was on hiatus. The words of encouragement and love really helped me pull through. You guys just don't know how much you all mean to me.

So, now that I'm unemployed, I have a lot of time on my hands to develop something people have been urging me to do for a long time now. As you read this, I'm making plans. Of course, I can't tell you guys all about it just yet, but know that I havve something great brewing on the horizon. That being said, stay close to me or be out of the loop.

Well, loves, that's all for now. I've missed you guys terribly, so don't be strangers!! If you're not already, follow me on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/ToniC813. That way, you can stay on top of all my randomness lol.

Besitos Con Amor,

Toni

I Just Don't Get It: Crazy Jealous Women

Let me clarify before I begin. When I say 'crazy jealous women', I don't mean regular run of the mill envy. That's perfectly natural in my opinion. It's not cute, but if you say you've never been envious of another person, you're a bold-faced liar. I'm talking about 'Fatal Attraction' jealousy; the kind that makes a woman sit in front of a man's house like she's on stakeout for the police department just to see who he's dealing with. The shit that makes seemingly sane women stalk a guy's Facebook page to see who he's talking to. And let me go on record saying that I know there are plenty of guys out there that are crazy as hell with jealousy too, but I'm only talking about the ladies right now. I'll get to you crazy fellas in another blog.

Okay, so, what I've never understood about the CJW (crazy jealous woman) is what makes them tick. I mean, I can't say that I've never gone to an ex's social network page to see what's up with them or if their new chick is cuter than I am. That's just curiosity and wanting to be able to say 'that bitch ain't got shit on me'. We've all done it at least once or twice. I'm talking about these women that plan their whole day around that shit. If he didn't want you before, what makes you think that stalking him is gonna make him change his mind? I've never claimed to be an expert on anything, but I know guys, and they don't like being stalked. They don't wanna have to answer a million and one questions like 'Who's that bitch you tweeted hi to today?' or 'So you wanna fuck that bitch or something now?'. I mean seriously, ladies, that shit is just not cute on too many levels.

I have a friend (a guy) who's cell phone was recently hacked by some chick he's been dicking down. The chick texted someone and asked about the nature of the relationship between my friend and the other girl, calling him a stalker and all sorts of crazy shit. That's a CJW move if I've ever seen one. First of all, who knew AT&T was so lax in their security that just anyone can fake being you and get into your phone? Secondly, what made this chick do that shit? For all she knows, the chick on the receiving end of those texts could be certified crazy. Then you gotta think about how the guy is gonna react to you hacking into his shit. If my friend was a different type of dude, I'd be putting money on his books right now. Not that I condone violence against women of course, because you all know that I don't, but I understand that we all have a limit to the amount of bullshit we're willing to take before we snap. I told him I'll kick her ass, but he won't let me.

The only benefit I can see to being a CJW is that whomever you're with, they don't play too many games if they know off top you're crazy jealous. If a guy enters into it knowing he runs the risk of finding rabbits cooking on his stove, that's his bad and I hope he's gotta good lawyer and great medical coverage. Look at what happened to Michael Douglas in that movie. He had to KILL this bitch to get her to leave him alone. She kidnapped his daughter, tried to kill his wife, and some more shit. Of course, that's a worst case scenario, but that shit happens every day. Just like that astronaut in Texas who drove across the country wearing adult diapers to confront some dude. Seriously, if you have to go through all of that to get the guy you want, the problem isn't him. More than likely, it's your crazy ass ways.

CJWs make it hard for us 'normal' women because every guy, in the back of his mind, wonders, 'Is this bitch gonna turn out to be psycho like so and so?'. I understand that love and lust are both powerful emotions that can sometimes cloud our vision and perception of reality, but there's a limit to how much that excuses. Sure, we all want to be loved, but it should be healthy love. I've found that most of these CJWs are women that have experienced some sort of abuse or abandonment in their lives, which I can relate to and identify with. But, you can't use your past as an excuse for your present actions. Yeah, I was abused at various times of my life and my birth father was never there, but that wouldn't make it okay for me to be sitting on a rooftop peeking in a dude's windows or whatever.

Being a little envious of another person, although it's not cute, is normal. But when your whole life becomes what he's doing with the next chick, you have deeper issues than being a woman scorned. You're worthy of a love that will be equally returned. If the person you're into isn't giving you that, let go and move onto the next that will. We all need love in this life, but at what cost?

Have you ever known or dealt with a CJW?

Besos,

Toni

My Love/Hate Relationship With Twitter

Now, everyone who knows me knows that I am a serious Twitter junkie. I have no qualms about telling any and everyone that Twitter for me is my strongest addiction. As much as I love it, there are a few things about ti that make me wanna throw up and go to rehab.

I love that I can log into Twitter and see what everyone's talking about. It reminds me of the old chat rooms we all used to troll back in the day. Don't act like I'm the only one who would log into the AOL or Yahoo chat rooms lol. I get on Twitter some days and don't tweet a thing. I just read everyone else's tweets. Don't judge me for being nosey, okay? I get a lot of inspiration for what I write from my tweeties lol.

Another thing I love about Twitter is that I can get all of the latest news on there. I don't have to spend nearly as much time as I used to looking for stuff thanks to Twitter. All of the sources I use for blogging purposes are on Twitter, so I get all the headlines in one place. And who doesn't like a little simplicity? I follow just about all of the major blogs: Necole Bitchie, Gyant Unplugged, AJ Supreme, and The Urban Daily to name a few. And of course, I follow the people associated with the company I work for so I can do my job.

Now it's time for the gripes. While I've met some of the dopest, realest people ever on Twitter, the Keyboard Gangsters and the fakers are taking over. You know the type, because they all came from Myspace, Facebook, Black Planet, and all of the other social networking sites that are now considered old school. They're the type that are always talking about kicking someone's ass or being harder than the next person (the keyboard gangsters). And the fakes are even worse, pretending to be whomever they think you want them to be so you can friend them or put them on somehow. These motherfuckers should all be gathered up and collectively get their asses beat by all the real motherfuckers in the world that have to deal with these bamas. I could go on and on about this, but I'll spare you that rant for now.

Another thing that pisses me off about Twitter are the damn bots. Who gives a shit if I curse a lot? I don't need some jerkoff tweeting me to say 'You curse too much, @ToniC813. Watch your mouth.' No shit I icurse a lot, but last time I checked, I'm a grown ass woman that can do and say anything I want that isn't deemed illegal by the government. Then there's the Britney porn tape bot. I swear I wanna find these fuckers and slap the shit out of each and every last one of them. I was getting spammed so much by these bitches I had to protect my tweets (aka make my timeline private) to keep them from following me. THe shit is ridiculous. Twitter, if you can kick people off for overly promoting themselves, why the fuck can't you stop these damn Britney bots? I love Britney Spears btw (don't judge me), but I'm not interestedin seeing her give some dude some bop (head for you non-DMV residents). And I'm sure even Britney is tired of seeing her mouth next to these various dicks.

As I said, I'm a serious Twitter junkie, but I'm not blind to its faults. Do you tweet? If so, what do you love and hate about it?

Besos Por Todos,

Toni (@ToniC813 on Twitter lol)